Consequences
by Shadow-Clone19
Summary: Anders and Fenris Fanfiction I wrote for the most awesome of people out there! Basically how they awkwardly got together and what hapened after the Chantry exploded.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok guys, this is my first ever Fanfic I'm uploading to the interwebs so go easy on me.**

**I worte this Fanfiction for the lovely lovely Annie 8D Honey I really hope you like it!**

Finally, the last patient had left his clinic in Darktown!  
>Anders slumped on one of his few chairs and slowly caressed his temples with both of his index and middle-fingers. That day had been a hard one, so many injured Fereldans from a beat-up in the streets with a mob of Kirkwallers and a child that had managed to fall off one of the high walls of the docs.<p>

"I really need a holiday", Anders sighed and looked outside to see the sun setting.

Crud! He forgot he promised Varric to show up at the hanged man that night for a drink or two with the gang.  
>Cleaning up bits and bobs to make the clinic look at least half decent before he left, he scurried around to find the clinic key.<p>

"Where in the Makers name, did I place the damn thing again?"  
>After searching through all his chests and bookshelves he stood in the middle of his clinic with his hands on his hips, to look around at where else he might have placed it, only to notice he had had it in pockets all along.<br>He smacked his forehead with his palm and stood there sighing for a brief moment before he left for the Hanged Man.

"Finally! Our miracle healer arrives!", Hawke stated and opened his arms far above his head whilst everybody else turned their heads towards the tired mage.

"Sorry, guys! Today everybody felt like hurting themselves."

Anders sat down between Bethany and Varric and placed his drink order before looking around at his friends. All seemed their usual selves, Varric was telling impossible stories to keep everybody entertained whilst Isabela was going on about her Friend fictions, Hawke his usual dorky self, Merrill not understanding Isabelas' innuendos, ect. Only the broody elf seemed missing. Anders didn't think much of it. All he was out for was arguing with him anyway lately so he joined in the party of listening to Varric as his drink was brought to the table, adding bits and bobs to the story himself at occasion.

The party completed itself after all within a few minutes as Fenris descended down the stairs of the hanged man, obviously returning from the bathroom.

"There's something oddly beautiful and elegant about the elven race", Anders thought to himself, looking back and forth between the new arrival and Merrill. Not that he ever minded them, he'd only not made much good experience with the ones he'd gotten to know so far. Merrill was a nice girl but he just couldn't get over the fact that she used Blood Magic, Fenris on the other hand was purely unbearable with his attitude towards mages.

"I see the mage finally made it here too", Fenris observed coldly as he sat down with a grunt opposite Anders.

"Were you missing me?", Anders returned and earned a hateful glare.

"Now, now ladies! You're both beautiful," Hawke intervened ," so stop arguing and let's play a round of cards!"

"Oh Maker no! Cards?" Anders had never been the best at card games and normally ended up losing the majority of his bets. He even managed to lose against Hawke's Mabari. Not having much coin with him at the time he looked around to see if he could come up with an idea to better his chances and spotted the bottle of piss poorly brewed ale on the table. Maybe if he got them all drunk...

He looked at his friends again. Isabela, Hawke, Bethany and Varric already looked pretty sloshed so they wouldn't need much more. The others on the other hand he couldn't judge. Aveline always had a poker-face no matter what state she was in so he assumed she was still sober just to make sure, Merrill had a glass of water in front of her so she had obviously not drunken anything , Fenris drank like a bottomless pit anyway and no way in hell he'd be able to get the Mabari drunk.

"Another round over here please!", he waved towards the bar.  
>"I officially love you now, Blondy... well in a manly-friendly way at least", Varric announced and patted Anders on the shoulder, spilling half of his drink on the table.<p>

As the cards were distributed the drinks were served and it took a whole lot of persuading to get Merrill to drink and cleverly refilling Varric's and Bethany's mugs with his drink when nobody was looking, Anders managed to stay sober. Up until half the booze was gone it wasn't looking to good for him as usual. But when almost the entire ale had disappeared Anders started gaining ground on the others.

"You're cheating!", Justice opposed in the back of his mind.  
>"Oh, like the others never do!"<br>"...point taken..."

When Anders had finally gotten a bit of an advantage over the others, even the sober Mabari, he decided it to be safe to visit the dearly needed bathroom. It stank like the rest of the pub, but the stench of vomit was more intense in the men's stalls. Not wanting to waste much time in the putrid smelling place he quickly relieved himself and washed his hands with what was left of the mouldy soap.  
>As he left the men's room he wiped his hands on his own gowns, not wanting to know what sort of people wiped their hands on the provided towel next to the sink.<p>

"They should fire the cleaning personnel... that's if they have any", he muttered to himself as he straightened his gowns.

Before he could look up from it again though someone grabbed him by the throat and pushed him hard up against the wall winding him. Shaking his head shortly and looking at his assailant he snorted.  
>"Fenris, let me go you great oaf!"<p>

"Do you think me blind, mage?", the elf tightened his grip around the man's neck, the claws of his gauntlets digging into the flesh slightly as he inched his face closer lowering his voice," You're cheating by getting us all drunk!"

The elf's breath stank of ale and made Anders feel mildly nauseous, so he tried to hold his face further away, but Fenris' grip was tighter than he thought.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"What you gona do? Take my Silvers? Good luck with that, I hardly have any!", Anders spat back and grabbed Fenris' arm, instantly igniting the lyrium tattoos.

"Varric ordered another round, you better start drinking as well and I'll keep my mouth shut about your tricks", Fenris snarled before letting the taller man go and storming off.

"He didn't already give me away?"

Anders looked after him for a while before shrugging it off and re-joining the group.

As he sat down on his previous spot the drinks were just being served again and just as he was going to grab the bottle a clawed hand beat him to it.  
>"Let me do that for you", Fenris proclaimed and topped his mug up so much it almost flowed over.<br>Anders swallowed dry at the amount of ale he was expected to drink and looked back up at the two emerald eyes staring at him over their own mug as the elf drank his helping in one shot just to top it back up again afterwards.

As expected Anders' "luck" ceased to be after a few forced mugs and by the end of the evening he was back where he had started.

"Well at least I didn't lose any this time", he thought to himself as Hawke clumsily tried to gather the cards.

"Thash was grape!", Varric slurred and almost fell backwards off his chair.

"Who's raped?", Isabela asked as she got up and only stayed up because she leaned on the table.

"Careful Isabela!", Merrill stood up to help her up and almost fell over herself despite being the least drunk of the group.  
>"Maybe the ones that can't walk should stay here and rent a room?", Aveline hiccupped and pointed at the majority of the group and then at herself.<br>"I think I'm fit enough to get home", Merrill declared after helping Isabela to the stairs.

"Ditto", Fenris grunted as he wobbled a tad on his feet.

"And I can use my staff as a walking stick if it gets to bad", Anders chuckled looking around at the rest of them," you should all stay here."

"Good idea", Bethany agreed as she helped her brother towards the stairs," we'll see each other again tomorrow at the viscount's residence for Aveline's patrol?"

Everybody nodded in response and said their goodbyes.

Outside the hanged man the three turned to each other.  
>"Do you think you can make it back to the alienage on your own?", Anders asked Merrill.<p>

"Oh I think I'll do just fine, thank you Anders", she answered with a smile and tried to bow.

"You sure?"

"Yes, yes! You two better be on your ways now! You've got further to walk than me", she waved clumsily before wobbling down the stairs towards the elven district of the city.

The two men glared at each other before setting off together in constant silence. The only sounds to be heard were the taping of Anders' boots and the faint rustle when a cat rushed down an alleyway after spotting them.

Still thinking about what happened earlier, Anders kept throwing glances at his shorter brother in arms who avoided looking at him all together.  
>"What?", the elf asked, still not looking at him.<br>"Why didn't you tell the others? You always claim you hate me so much, that would have been the easiest way of humiliating me."

"You're the healer of the group, if everybody loses trust in you then we have a greater issue at hand", he shrugged it off, still not looking at the mage.

"We have Bethany as well so I'm sure that's not the only reason", Anders dug on.

"What do you want me to tell you? That we're best friends for ever now?", Fenris mocked and finally glared back up at Anders, "I did you a favour, deal with it."

Anders raised an eyebrow.

"Fine! I'll never do it again!", Fenris snapped and continued looking stubbornly towards where he was going.

"I'm just surprised at the kind gesture, that's all!", Anders and stepped in front of the other," I'm sorry I should have thanked you straight away!"

Fenris glared up at the taller man, the large elven eyes glistening with the obvious rage.

"Maybe he's just more tolerant when drunk", Anders figured as he glared back.

"Get out of my way, mage!"

"Ok, on second thought ", Anders started to tower over him," you could have confronted me less violent about the matter back in the Hanged Man."  
>Anders was instantly pushed up against a wall once more, this time rougher though and Fenris was in his face from the beginning, his alcoholic breath intoxicating the air once more.<p>

"Do you think it coincidence that I haven't used my blade against you yet, nor reported you to the guards?"

Anders stayed silent and stared back instead of answering.  
>"Do you think me that narrow sighted? I know, not all mages are evil from the start. But I've made enough experience around your kind to know to stay wary!"<br>"So it's your pride that makes you call me such things in front of others!", Anders countered inching his face forward to show he was not afraid of the physically advantaged other.

"Magic took everything from me", Fenris growled," My family, my life even my memories", his grasp started to loosen," And yet it is part of me and I see the good you do with it."

The elf was obviously drunk to the point where feelings started overflowing. Anders used his chance to gently remove the hands clutching his clothing. He felt oddly relived that Fenris didn't really hate him after all, that or he was so drunk he was imagining this all, which on second thought was more likely.  
>Fenris let go of his clothing and rested his hand on the mages chest looking down again, taking a few deep breaths and then looking back up at Anders.<p>

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to get so emotional. We should move on."

And then things happened without Anders really understanding why... well okay it was probably the booze.

He grabbed Fenris by the arm who's Lyrium instantly lighted up and punched the wall beside Anders' face so hard, the mage could hear the mortar crumble.

"Don't touch m-", but Fenris couldn't finish the sentence. Anders had grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer, pressing his lips firmly against the others.  
>He could feel Fenris' tension loosen and his face getting warm. The lyrium faded as Anders realised what he was doing and released the elf.<p>

Fenris backed off staring with a mixture of anger and confusion back at the mage, whilst Anders tried to compute what he had just done.

After what seemed like an eternity, Fenris looked away, coughed politely and straightened himself.  
>"I-I should get going", he announced and swiftly disappeared around the next building.<p>

Still not quite understanding what he had just done Anders slid his back down the wall to sit on the floor, looking up into the star-scattered sky.

"I should REALLY stop drinking..."


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Anders awoke with a horrific headache. The little sun that shined into his clinic was enough to make him groan in protest and pull the sheets over his throbbing head.

As the pain started to fade a little in the dark, Anders started remembering the events of the previous night and groaned again. What on earth had he been thinking? ... well, okey he hadn't thought at all, but still! They all had to meet at the viscount's keep this day and had to face them all again.

After quite a while of convincing himself he uncovered himself to be exposed to the sun once more. Wincing in pain he went to his shelf with all the potions he owned and looked for the one he needed.

"Nope,... nope,... maybe this-... nope not that one either... ah there we have it", he picked up a tiny bottle with a oily blue liquid and downed the entire content in one go. It tasted bitter and in general disgusting but within a few minutes Anders felt like a new man.

"Now... where did I put my staff?"

He looked around himself like the day before to find the staff lodged into one of the wooden walls of his clinic. Odd, he didn't remember getting angry at anything the night before and Justice seemed distant at the time. He yanked his weapon out of the wall and made himself on the long climb to the viscount's keep in Hightown.

Finally in the grand entry hall of the keep he saw a bunch of his friends already waiting at the stairs, from afar they seemed fine and in good mood, but as Anders got closer he could see how hungover his friends really were. All were red eyed and looked like they hadn't slept the entire night but still tried to seem cheerful as Anders approached.

"Maker's breath, Anders. How do you always manage to look so fresh after a drinking night?", Bethany groaned as she shook his hand in greeting.

"My little secret", he replied and winked, "I'm taking it a few of us won't show up this morning, or at least not on time, looking at the state you guys are in."

"We're still missing Isabela, Varric and Fenris at the moment", Hawke grunted and rubbed his sore head," but if they don't show up in the next half an hour we're going to have to leave without them."

"No need to wait they aren't showing up!", an all too familiar voice sounded from behind Anders that made him twitch and slowly look over his shoulder.

Fenris had made it after all and was jogging up the hall, looking more dead than alive. As he approached he only swiftly looked at Anders before awkwardly avoiding the other's eyes. The awkward gut feeling that arose in Anders didn't go unnoticed either to top it all off.

"Something happen last night when you two went home?", Merrill asked worried and tilted her head slightly to the side to meet Anders' gaze.

"We had a bit of an argument", Anders replied, trying not to give anything away and look as earnest as he could.

"Nothing unusual then", snorted Hawke and then looked at Aveline," well if the other two ain't showing up we might as well get going."

Down at the Wounded Coast the group marched along the sea line all following Aveline.

"So why do you exactly need us for this patrol again?", Bethany asked, combing some hair out of her face.

"We've heard rumours that there's a Tal-Vashoth camp around here somewhere that sacks traders and I want to get rid of them. And you guys know way better how to deal with Qunari than my men back at the barracks", Aveline replied just before they got to a fork in the road," I suggest we split up here. Bethany comes with me, Hawke goes with Merrill up the hill and Anders and Fenris go down the hill."

"What?", Fenris and Anders exclaimed in canon.

"That way we have a mage in every group just in case a Saarebas shows up. But do you think putting those two in a group a wise decision?", Hawke asked and indicated towards Fenris and Anders," They might end up killing each other."

"They're full grown men, I'm sure a stroll on their own will give them time to discuss their differences", Aveline waved the matter off and marched off with Bethany.

"And we of course have no say in this what so ever", sighed Fenris as Hawke and Merrill left.

"Come on then", Anders announced and started down their path," the sooner we start the sooner it's over with..."

Fenris sighed again and followed the mage along the path making sure never to make eye contact and look the other way as much as possible. The silence and ignoring held for half the stretch of the way, until Anders got fed up.  
>"This is ridiculous!", he exclaimed and started massaging his temples as he walked," Aveline's right. We're full grown men, we should be able to talk about this."<p>

"It's not like she meant THAT. Plus I've always gotten by just fine by forgetting certain things ever happened", Fenris snarled still averting his gaze.

"Yeeees and that's worked just fine for you over the years hasn't it, Slave", Ander's mocked and got the desired effect. Fenris' head snapped around instantly "YOU were the one to move on me, Mage! And never call me that again!"  
>"Now at least you look at me whilst I talk to you! Look I'm sorry what happened last night! I don't know what got over me!"<br>Fenris slowly looked away again. "We were both drunk..."

Anders expected a more feisty answer and quietly watched the elf clenching his jaw and swallowing dryly. Talking about issues was obviously not one of his strengths. As things stayed quiet Anders decided to pick up the conversation again, he wanted to have this theme discussed and finished before it turned into a greater issue.

"I'm also sorry that Magic has done so much harm to you in your life but don't you think it's time to let go and judge us mages individually? Would make cooperation in the group a lot easier too."

And for the first time in a sober state Anders thought to shortly see softness instead of hatred in the elf's face before it vanished to bitterness again.

"I want to forget. But it's not as easy as you say it is. You of all people should know that", Fenris murmered," your hatred towards the Templers is comparable to mine towards mages."

Anders thought about that comparison for a moment and Justice decided to knock at the back of his mind to make it all worse. Fenris had a point, Anders had been maltreated comparably by Templers . And for the first time he felt sympathy for the elven man walking beside him, he finally understood his pain and that all this time the other had understood his.

"I suppose we're more alike than I always thought", Anders stated quietly and looked back again. And when Fenris looked back at him and smirked, that odd feeling returned that he had the evening before, but this time he wouldn't give in to it and make the entire situation worse again.

He didn't have the chance anyway, this time Fenris approached him, pulling him down by his collar. Their lips met firmly again and Anders could feel Fenris' clawed hand slide around the back of his head.

Why? Why didn't he oppose of this? He wanted this so bad!

And there was Justice again telling him it was wrong. But he didn't care the fire inside him that had been ignited at that moment was stronger than Justice could ever be and he shrugged the spirit off, placing a hand on the elf's cheek and returning the kiss.

The kiss intensified to the point where Anders felt like pushing Fenris up against the next boulder, until the elf's ears twitched in alertion and he pushed the mage aside. An arrow only just wizzed past them and bounced off a rock beside them. They spun towards their assailant both pulling their weapons of choice to find the group of Tal-Vashoth they were sent to find.

"Well that made finding you easy", Anders chuckled and started summoning an ominous cloud above the opponents nodding to Fenris before making it rain fire from the sky.  
>Fenris used the confusion to storm in and eliminate one after the other, swinging his great sword around as if it were made of paper, whilst Anders continued to fire whatever spells crossed his mind at the rest of the Qunari. Just as they thought the last one had fallen, Fenris cussed loudly in Tevinter and fell to one knee, an arrow protruding from his thigh.<p>

Anders' quickly spotted the last of the qunari on top of a large boulder and froze him solid. The frozen Qunari fell forwards and shattered into a thousand pieces as it hit the ground.

Anders ran up to his injured brother in arms and checked his leg. The arrow had been shot clean through and had shattered the bone.

"Now that has to hurt", Anders grimaced and helped Fenris to lie down on his side.

"Shut up and get it out of me!", Fenris demanded through gritted teeth.  
>Anders nodded and grabbed the back end of the arrow firmly between both hands.<p>

"This is going to hurt... a lot."  
>Fenris grimaced and nodded, clenching his fists to prepare for the even greater pain.<br>Anders bit his lip, took a deep breath and then snapped the arrow in half.  
>Fenris shook with pain and moaned throw his nose as Anders chucked the broken end of the arrow over his shoulder to then pull the rest of the arrow out. As he did so he encountered the longest chain of Tevinter cusses he'd ever heard. Fenris still shaking in pain pulled his good leg up against his chest and wheezed, cold sweat dripping down his forehead.<p>

"The pain will be over soon, just hold on a little longer", Anders promised as his hands began to glow.

"Good! Just hurry, will you!", Fenris looked down at his leg as the odd sensation of knitting flesh and bone tingled through his body. When the tingling finally ended and Anders plonked down on his backside, Fenris wiggled his toes to see if everything was truly mended. It still felt odd but he could at least move everything.

"It should be fully fixed", Anders sighed in fatigue, "just don't break your leg again for the next few hours. Mending bones is strenuous!"

"I'll try", Fenris groaned and rolled on his back," Battling Qunari in groups of 4 is much easier..."

The two caught up with the others soon after and explained they had eliminated the qunari camp.

"Looks like you took a blow though", Aveline stated and pointed down at Fenris' torn pants.

"Yes, the tailor's going to be happy", Fenris sighed as he picked at the tears.  
>Anders took the time to look in calm down at the elf's leg to notice the pants had torn rather far up and from where he was standing he could actually see the other man's underpants.<br>Then he felt his ears getting warm...  
>"Maker! I'm blushing!", he realized and before anybody saw what he was truly aroused about decided to look at Bethany's cleavage instead.<br>"Anders, I like you and all. But please, stop staring at my sister's boobs", Hawke remarked slyly.

Bethany instantly squeaked and covered herself giving Anders an evil glare.

"Sorry I got lost in thought and then notice what I was staring at", Anders answered scratching the back of his head and acting even more ashamed.

"Shall we get back to Kirkwall then?", Merrill asked to break up the tension.

Everybody nodded in agreement and started to stroll off. Anders waited for Fenris to pass him and touched his exposed skin on his leg. Fenris raised an eyebrow before looking down thoroughly and noticing what the mage was trying to hint, turning maroon he tried to cover up what should not be seen with his pouches.


	3. Chapter 3

Back in Kirkwall Anders immediately returned to his clinic, there was already a long queue of people waiting outside. Anders sighed and rolled up his sleeves before opening the clinic and letting the people in. It would be another long day. But unlike the other days he actually felt happy. Smiling to himself he took a look at each and every patient that came through the door. Justice was not bemused at the reason for his host's sudden change of mood. To him the entire situation was wrong. The elf had treated his host so badly throughout the years it was not right that such feelings be shared between them.

But Anders did not care. He was finally happy again. After so many years of misery and bitterness he finally had something comforting. Someone to rely on.

With his mind up in the clouds he didn't notice the time fly and as he dismissed the last patient for the day and looked outside to see the sun setting again already.

"You like to help people don't you?"  
>Anders spun towards the doorway of his clinic to find Fenris leaning against the door frame smugging at him.<p>

"As if you're much better", Anders replied as he wiped his hands on a sterile cloth," I've heard the stories of the white haired elf with the giant sword that frees slaves at the docks."

"We all have our hobbies", Fenris jested and entered the clinic, closing the door behind him," I just happen to have the hobby of preventing people of my kin having to go through what I did."

Anders watched the elf walk past him to his bookshelf and running a finger along the line of books.  
>"You read all these?", the visitor asked picking one out and looking at it.<br>"I wrote some of them too", Anders replied noticing the elves eyes moved oddly over the pages.  
>Fenris raised an eyebrow and side-glanced at him before putting the book back into the shelf.<p>

"If you're interested I can borrow you some", Anders offered before grunting whilst getting up.

"No, it's fine."

Anders moved over to his visitor and stood in front of him, the scent of the others musk filling his nose. Not like he minded it, it was a pleasant smell, but then again it meant that Fenris dearly needed a bath. At that point Ander remembered a rumour he had heard, that elves all showered in the rain only. Contemplating for a while if he should ask if said rumour was true or not and then deciding it was probably not such a good idea, he noticed the elf had raised an eyebrow at him for being so absent minded.

"Something you wish to ask, mage?"  
>"No, I better not", Anders replied rubbing his eyes with the thumb and index finger of his right hand," thinking it through it seems like a ridiculous theory anyway."<br>"Suit yourself", Fenris shrugged, the metal on his armour clinking in the process.

"So what did you come here for", Anders quickly changed the subject.

"I was at the tailor and got myself some new pants with my hard earned money", Fenris replied and hooked his claw-like finger-cover of his gauntlet around Anders' chain holding his shoulder padding up to pull him down a little," And because there's never anything happening in my mansion I figured I'd drop bye..."

"I don't have much to offer though I'm afraid", Anders gestured to his clinic.

"I don't need much", Fenris smirked and started forcing Anders to walk backwards.

They entered Anders' private area of the clinic and Fenris slammed the separating door behind him shut there too, just to make sure. An awkward silence filled the room and Anders, tired as he was, wasn't sure what to make of the whole situation. Was the elf there just to not have to be alone, did he expect hospitality or was he out for something else all together?

Fenris' eyes shifted around the room a little until they rested in a particular direction and he smirked again whilst redirecting Anders to walk into that direction.

"What in Andraste's name are you do-", the back of his legs hit something and then it dawned on him as he fell over backwards onto the bed.

"Are you sure about this?", Anders looked up at Fenris who was already un-strapping his chest plate. He had heard elves tended to be potent, but this was way faster than he expected. He flinched when the heavy armoury hit the wooden floor with a loud cluttering sound and he could see the elves true physical appearance for the first time. He had overestimated the thickness of the armour, and had always figured Fenris to be similarly lanky to the usual elves as in the alienage. How very wrong he had been. The skin tight leather that the elf wore to protect himself from sores by the armour, revealed an athletic and yes lanky, but still heavily muscled torso.

Fenris removed his gauntlets next, tossing them to the chest plate on the ground, again making Anders flinch. The mage wasn't sure about the entire situation at all, he wanted it but on the other hand he didn't know if it was right, plus Justice was giving him one hell of a headache.

The willing elf, removed his final layer of upper clothing revealing his lyrium scarred body.  
>Anders swallowed dry. The lyrium inside the beautiful filigree lines that covered the man's body sang to him, called to him like the lyrium back at the magi tower used to. As the elf slowly crawled over him, the emerald eyes always fixed on his own, he could hear the lyrium song grow louder and Justice's mental prodding becoming stronger.<p>

As their eyes were at equal level and their lips just inches apart, the song of the now glowing lyrium was so seducing, Anders felt like tearing it out of his potential lover's skin.

"What happened to all the fiery hate speeches?", Anders asked with a smirk.

"I can use that fire differently now", Fenris purred, moving a hand up Anders' leg.

The last time Anders had experienced a situation like this was way back when he was still with Karl and Justice was trying to use those memories to give him a bad conscience. As soon as Fenris' hand stroked over Anders' crotch though, Justice had had enough.  
>"Get your hands off of him, elf!", Justice commanded as he took over his host for a short time span.<p>

"No!", Anders just managed to stop Justice as he was about to hit Fenris with a spell.

The elf had shot up instantly, straddling Anders and watching him battling the spirit inside him.

"You know this is not right! Tell him to leave!", Justice demanded giving Anders another burst of headaches.

"No! This is MY body you inhabit! It is my decision whom I offer it to!"

The argument inside Anders' head was making his skull feel like it was going to split any second.

"You fool! Can't you see he's using the lyrium to seduce you into this?"  
>Anders paused and looked up at the elf's content face. Truly he didn't notice this. On the battlefield Fenris would use his lyrium as well and it would not affect him this way.<p>

"How do you know how to use your lyrium to seduce mages...", Anders asked the painfully obvious and watched Fenris' ears drop as he looked away, shame and pain in his expression.

The elf got off of the mage and grabbed his belongings, hastily putting them back on not looking back at the mage.

Anders shook his head as it cleared and sat up.

"You always claim it never happened ... but did Denarius-"

"I do not wish to talk about it!", Fenris barked still not looking at Anders with his head held low," I'll see you tomorrow at Hawke's estate for the trip to the Tal-Vashoth caverns."

Before Anders could say anymore, the warrior had stalked out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him. He sat for a while longer on his bed before slowly getting up and straightening his gowns. Leaning his head back he looked at the ceiling of his dorms and sighed.

"That poor man must have gone through hell...", he said out loud and winced at the horrid mental images that popped into his head at the mere thought of what services Denarius might have asked of his elf.

"Hmpf, my elf?", Anders chuckled and shook his head," So Justice, what do you make of this?"  
>"It seems the singing elf has gone through more injustice than I expected. Which does not mean I agree with the thoughts and feelings you hold for him", the spirit answered sympathetically.<p>

"I see...", Anders murmured as he thought about what had just happened.

Was the elf only so willing because he wanted to get over what had happened during slavery or even try to forget about it as soon as possible? Or did he even think it was the only way he could please a mage lover?  
>Anders shook his head again and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger. One way or another he'd have to confront Fenris with it as well to clear things.<p>

"Sometimes I get the feeling all that man needs is a hug and some tenderness", Anders whispered and turned back to his bed. He dearly needed some sleep as it was.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day they were down at the wounded coast again this time the entire crew was there though due to the unclear number of opponents they'd meet.

Of course Anders hadn't slept much last night with all the thought shooting through his head and he stood next to Merrill yawning as they listened to Hawke discuss their tactics with Aveline.

"So what we'll do is wait until Isabela returns with the report of how many there are in there", Aveline stated and gestured towards the big busted pirate.

"Sending me to spy on qunari? Do you really find that such a good idea, sweetheart?", Isabela questioned and stretched her arms over her head.

"You're the sneakiest person in our group of misfits, so it's not like we have much of a choice", Aveline countered stemming her hands into her heavily armoured hips.

"Fine fine!", Isabela acknowledged with a wave of her hand," I'll sneak in, draw a line on my palm for each couple of horns I see and then come back to show you I scribbled a load of inappropriate images instead."  
>"You better not", Aveline grumbled, making the pirate laugh as she entered the cave.<p>

As the crew waited for the report, Anders looked around lazily, taking in the beauty of the wounded coast.

"Pretty isn't it?", Merrill asked and smiled up at him in her innocent way.

When the conversation wasn't about magic or mages, Anders liked Merrill. She was as gullible as it gets but she was always nice.

"Indeed it is", he sighed, watching a wail spray a fountain out of its air hole in the distance", I'm so glad I'm not cooped up in the circle anymore. Or I'd miss these things."

"Must have been horrible cooped up like that", Merrill said thoughtfully," but thanks to Hawke we're all here to enjoy the view."

After that Anders stopped listening to Merrill and just smiled at her. He was to tired and his head was to full to pay any more attention. When she had finally finished he smiled a little more at her and she smiled back before dancing off after Varric and making him smile as well.

Anders' gaze drifted around the group until he spotted the white haired elf sitting separated from the group on a tree stump, his back facing Anders and looking into the distance. The elf's ears seemed to droop as he made a deep sigh and Anders knew he was remembering what he wished to forget.

"He seems especially broody today, don't you think?"  
>Anders turned his head slightly to find Hawke standing next to him giving him his usual dorky look.<p>

"Indeed", Anders answered and looked back at the man in question," sometimes I wonder what goes on in his head."

"How about: I hate mages!", Hawke jested but turned earnest again as soon as he received a glare from Anders and coughed politely," I've also noticed lately you two don't argue quite as much anymore. Have you settled your differences?"  
>"Not quite", Anders sighed as the elf's ears seemed to droop even more," but we're understanding each other a little better after we had a proper talk."<p>

Hawke patted Anders so hard on the back, the mage almost fell forward and looked at his companion bemused when he noticed the other was giving him a big silly smile.  
>"Glad to hear you two finally get along! Oh Isabela!"<br>The pirate captain had returned and she did not look happy as she patted some dust from her thigh high boots.

"So?", Aveline advanced towards Isabela," what does it look like in there?"  
>"Dark and dirty", the pirate countered and blew a lock of hair out of her face," there's about 20 Tal-Vashoth in there. But 4 of them are Saarebas so it should be a rather challenging battle in there."<br>She patted Hawke's Mabari, Fionnlagh, who apriciatingly wagged his tail.

"Maker's breath that's a lot of Tal-Vashoth", Varric exclaimed, readying Bianca," But they're no match for us!"  
>"Then let us get this over with."<br>Anders looked to his left to find Fenris now next to him looking as determined and proud as ever. He smugged and nodded towards the others.

"I agree. We should get this done with ASAP."

And faster than he thought Anders and his friends were surrounded by Tal-Vashoth. The Qunari had expected them and were well prepared, so despite Anders' best efforts Merrill and Bethany had already fallen unconscious. Anders wouldn't have an issue reviving them if it weren't for those Maker-forsaken Saarebas constantly interrupting his resurrection spells. When he finally had a window he used the last of his mana to resurrect at least Bethany, just in case he should fall next she was the only other mage with a few healing spells. His hands glowing bright blue he concentrated as hard as he could and finally managed to resurrect the other mage. Bethany jumped to her feet and grabbed her staff to immediately freeze the Qunari attacking Varric.

Satisfied with what he had achieved Anders grabbed for one of his spare magic potions and popped off the cork holding it closed to down it in one go. The familiar refreshing feeling rising in him as the potion refilled his mana resources, he chucked the bottle over his shoulder and turned to face the next Qunari. To his great surprise, in a bad way, he found the next Qunari upon him with his sword high above his head to lash it down upon the mage. Anders was just about to conjure a protective force field when he felt something tingle strangely through his chest and lower body. As the Qunari's sword came down a blue flash of light burst out from Anders' chest and cut the Qunari in half through the chest whilst roaring its battle cry. As the Qunari fell, Anders took a few steps back to fully see what in the name of Andraste's arse had just happened. The blue glowing figure looked back at him breathing heavily in its hunched posture and Anders recognised what had just happened and shuddered. It was Fenris, in his ghost warrior form who had swept through him to use the element of surprise on the Qunari.

"Thank you, Fenris", Anders yelled and saluted the elf, who nodded in return and ran off to the next opponent glowing like a star.

After that close call Anders also had the mana and time to resurrect Merrill who then used the scattered blood to fuel her blood magic. Anders then concentrated on firing fire and ice at the opponents, freezing them solid or making them scream in agony at the pain of the intense heat. When they were down to the last 3 Qunari Anders' chest was heaving with streign. The fight had been going on for about an houre and his energy was at an end, even with the magic and healing potions he couldn't fix his physical fatigue.

Another Qunari fell to Varric's bolt and the last two were cornered by Hawke and Avaline. So Anders decided he could finally allow himself to fall to his knees and hold himself upright with his staff. As the last two Qunari fell he sighed with relief and let his head hang, his long hair curtaining his face a little. He soon felt a wet nose sniffing his ear and a wet tongue licking his cheek. Anders grimaced but smiled and petted Fionnlagh who whined concerned.  
>"I'm okay, boy. Just a little tired", Anders reassured the hound which barked and took a few steps back as two naked feet came into the mage's view.<p>

Fenris fell to his knees as well and held Anders by the shoulder with one arm to hold him upright and reached with his other into his pouches.

"What are you doing?", Anders asked looking tiredly at the other man.

Fenris didn't answer but pulled a stamina drought out of his pouch and pulled the cork out with his teeth to then spit the cork to his left, before holding the drought to Anders' lips.

"Drink!"  
>Anders parted his lips to let the potion enter his mouth. A warm fuzzy feeling spread through his worn muscles all over his body. He rolled his shoulders and moved his lower arm up and down. The pain and strain was gone.<p>

"Thank you again", he thanked with a smile to Fenris.

"Always a pleasure", the elf answered and got to his feet again and helping the other man up.

"You two are getting along a little too well I'd say", Isabela stated with a smirk," I like that!"  
>"Just because you fancy having two men at the same time, you don't have to start seeing things", Anders jested and Isabela laughed loudly her voice echoing in the cave.<p>

An hour later they were in the Viscount's keep and Aveline tore off the warning from the information board at the guard's quarters.  
>"Well done my friends", she declared," for this I will give you all a free round at the Hanged Man."<p>

"Have I ever told you, that I love you?", Isabela purred and bumped Aveline with her hip.

"I'm flatter but I'm sorry to tell you I'm only interested in men", Aveline chuckled.

"Prude!", Isabela huffed and lead the way back towards the exit of the Viscount's keep,"and anybody who's to drunk to go home tonight is welcome to stay with me in my room!"  
>"I'll hold you by your word", Hawke called from the back of the group and Isabela winked in return.<p>

"I'm sure Anders can cure hangovers", Varric joked and elbowed the tired mage.

"You sure you want to risk him burning your hair from your head when he's probably drunk himself?", Fenris asked the dwarf and earned a chuckle.  
>"I'll burn your hair in a minute", Anders threatened as they left the keep through the giant doors.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Down at the Hanged Man everybody settled at their usual spot at the table and as promised, Aveline paid the first round of drink for everybody. They all held their drinks high and saluted to the commander of the guard, before downing a few gulps.

"No need to salute me", Aveline chuckled before taking a few sips of her watery beer," I swear to the maker, this swill tastes less every time we come here though."

"And it smells worse every time as well", Fenris commented and wrinkled his nose.

"Actually, that was me", Varric snorted and Bethany and Anders lent away from the dwarf immediately.

"Oh Varric, you know how to make a woman rub her thighs together", Isabella purred and winked whilst the rest of the group looked at her with a mixture of disgust and shock on their faces.

"Keep that for later, Revaini. It's just not appropriate in front of the children", Varric gestured to the rest of the group.

"Anyway", Hawke interrupted before Isabela could make the conversation any worse," A human a, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar."  
>"We know that one already, brother", Bethany sighed and bopped her brother on the back of the head," I know a much better one anyway!"<p>

And for the most of the evening they spent throwing horrid jokes back and forth, Varric of course taking the cake. The jokes were so bad at some point, Anders thought he was going to wet himself if he didn't go to the bathroom any time soon. He excused himself and dashed to the bathroom down the hall chuckling as he went. Even whilst relieving himself he was in giggle fits.

"I haven't laughed this hard in a long time", he said to himself as he stood in front of the mirror and fiddled with the hairs that had escaped his ponytail.

"Tell me about it."

Anders looked to his right to see Hawke entering the stalls as well, wiping away some tears as he did so.

"My stomach hurts so much from laughing I think I tore a muscle!"  
>"Want me to heal it?", Anders chuckled as he leaned against the wall waiting for the other man.<p>

"Later when all the laughing is over", Hawke snorted as he walked over to wash his hands," Or you'll be doing it again later."

The Fereldan dried his hands on his own robes after giving the cloth supplied by the pub a critical look.

"On a serious note though", Hawke prodded Anders in the chest with a mischievous smirk on his lips," you seem an awful lot more calm and happy lately. Want to tell me about someone?"  
>Anders tried to keep a straight face as he crossed his arms before his chest.<p>

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't", Hawke taunted, "Come on my friend! I've known you long enough to know-"

He was interrupted as Fenris walked between them, bluntly ignoring them and closing the stall behind him rather loudly. Hawke looked after him for a second or two before turning his head back to Anders, a sly smirk on his face this time.

"Oh, come on! You don't even believe that yourself!", Anders bluffed and left the bathroom so the elf couldn't hear their conversation.

"Mhmmm", Hakwe taunted again and stemmed his hands into his hips as girly as he could," Oh Anders, you know you can't hide anything from little old me!"

Anders raised an eyebrow at the other man, who then started laughing.

When they returned to the others Anders saw that another round of drinks had been delivered in the mean time and sat down again to take another swig of his. He listened to Bethany tell some childhood story of her time back in Lothering, when his eyes drifted to the elf returning as well, walking down the stairs to their table. When Fenris noticed the mages gaze he returned it with a swift charming smile before returning to his usual earnest one. Anders could see the victorious grin that earned him from Hawke but didn't care at that timem he was too busy watching the elf move as he came to sit opposite him. Even though the man was a warrior he moved elegantly like all elves did. Even when he snatched the mug in front of him with a swift movement, it looked elegant and controlled and Anders thought he saw a wink his way over the top of the mug as the elf downed some of his drink.

The drinks flowed even more than usual that evening and the last thing Anders remembered of it, was dancing with Isabela in a clumsy way whilst being applauded by the others.

He awoke what he figured to be the next morning with his face covered by duvets. Sighing and wincing as he reached up to pull the sheets down, he noticed that there was someone lying behind him with their arm around his waist and that his torso was bare. His chest tightened as he took a deep breath and looked back down at his waste under the sheets, to see a tanned woman's arm. His groan of disagreement made yet another person shuffle somewhere in the room, making Anders' chest clench tighter again.

"As if having a drunken adventure with Isabela isn't already bad enough", he thought to himself gently trying to get her arm off of himself. When he wiggled himself free of the pirates grasp he reached up again to pull the covers off his head. Yes, it was definitely Isabela, her hair a mess all over the cushion. As he turned back to his original position he saw another figure covered by the sheets, he couldn't make out who it was, but by the slender looking figure he was guessing another woman.

He reached out and gently pinched the edge of the covers between his index finger and thumb to slowly uncover the third person in the bed. When white hair began to appear, Anders didn't know if he should feel happy or scared. He kept on pulling the covers down, just to make sure, revealing the most peaceful looking Fenris he had ever seen. The elf was fast to sleep, his lips slightly apart as he breathed steadily and deeply and his lyrium scarred hand rested just below his chin.

Anders looked at him for a while just enjoying the peace in that short moment and smiled to himself.

But he knew he had to get up and leave before the woman in the bed awoke to make the entire situation escalade. He ever so cautiously got out from under the sheets and slowly crawled along the length of the bed making sure not to touch any of the two. Just before reaching the edge, Isabela decided to turn around and groan, making Anders' heart freeze. When the woman stilled again he looked back over his shoulder to make sure she was still asleep. She was, thank the maker!  
>He was just about to move his hand again to crawl when a duvet covered foot hooked itself around his wrist. Anders' heart sank as he looked back again to meet the emerald green eyes staring up at him.<p>

Fenris nodded towards the door at the opposite end of the room and Anders nodded in agreement.

Anders gently slid off the bed and started collecting his scattered clothing. When he had found the last piece of his garments, he looked back to see Fenris stretching his arms over his head. The mage ogled a little at the other man's muscles tensioning and loosening as he moved. Fenris looked back at Isabela before covering his face and sighing, no doubt feeling equally as stupid as Anders at that moment.

The elf was also still wearing his trousers meaning his armour had to be somewhere in the room. Anders helped him collect his things and they both snuck out of the room as quietly as they could.

Quickly they dashed to the men's stalls and began putting their clothes back on.

"Do you remember anything?", Fenris mumbled as he tightened his tunic.  
>"Nothing after dancing with Isabela", Anders replied. His backside didn't feel sore nor did his mouth taste the way it normally did after a passionate night.<br>"Do you feel... "Odd"?", he asked the elf as he put on his shoulder pads.

Fenris raised an eyebrow before moving slightly back and forth and licking his lips.  
>"Nope, plus we were both still wearing our pants when we awoke."<p>

"True that...", Anders paused, thinking for a bit," Well no doubt we'll hear what happened soon from the others, or at least from Isabela herself."

Fenris nodded after adjusting his gauntlets and was set to go.

"By the way", he began just as Anders was about to turn and leave," I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to rush things. I just..."

He looked away biting his lower lip.  
>"You thought all mages just want sex?", Anders got straight to the point and crossed his arms in front of his chest.<p>

"I've heard of your quick tumbles in the circle, mage. Plus from my experience back in Tevinter...", he silenced again.

"It's okay, Fenris you don't have to talk about it here in the men's stalls", Anders smiled at the elf when he looked back up at him with a worried expression," And I'll forgive you this one time. Just take it all at your own pace, I'd rather you were willing than forcing yourself. Gives the wrong impression and all, you know?"  
>Fenris chuckled.<p>

"I see. Thank you!"  
>"Not a problem. But right now we should see where the others are. I'm sure we weren't the only ones that didn't make it home last night."<p>

They soon found Varric in his usual suit at the pub and learnt that the only two that actually managed to get back home were Aveline and Merrill. The rest were distributed across multiple rooms in the Hanged Man.

"I'm glad to see you two survived the night without killing each other", Varrich jested patting Anders' lower back," Isabela was dead set on having you two wrestle for the last bottle of mead."

So that was why they had both been topless in Isabela's room.

"Who won?", Fenris asked scratching his foot on the back of his thigh.

"How the hell should I know?", Varric burst out laughing," you two were still wrestling for it when Isabela dragged you to her room by your hair!"

"As if my headaches from the booze weren't bad enough", Anders grumbled and massaged his temples.  
>"Oh darlings! You are no gentlemen to leave me aaaall aloooone in bed!"<br>All three men turned to see Isabela enter the room adjusting her massive gold jewellery.

"What they didn't even make you breakfast, Revaini?", Varric dramatised.

"Not even a slice of toast!"

"You two should be ashamed!", Varric wiggled his index finger at the other two men.

Anders and Fenris both glared back at the dwarf who just smirked return.

"Oh but you should have seen them wrestle in only their pants, Varric! The sight was marvellous!", Isabela elegantly flopped onto one of the large chairs at the grand table," All that man power!"  
>"No, no Revaini! Tell me the details later or these two will spoil it for me with their glares!"<p>

"Okay, darling but only for you!", Isabela winked.

Before they had to put up with any more of Isabela's taunting Anders decided to leave the Hanged Man. His head still throbbing he leaned against the outside wall to catch some, well not exactly fresh air considering it was dark town, but still fresher than in the pub.

His stomach felt like it was going to lurch and his head was spinning so he reached out to his healing powers to at least heal the headache for now and put his blue glowing fingertips to his forhead.

Instantly a warm soothing feeling spread through his head and the mage sighed with relief.

"Would you mind doing me the favour too?"

Anders opened his eyes to see Fenris standing before him. Out in the daylight he could see that the elf wasn't looking to well himself. He had big dark bags under his eyes and looked rather pale in comparison to his usual tan.

Anders smiled down at the shorter man before gently placing his fingertips on his forehead.

Fenris closed his eyes facing up towards the hands as they glowed making his white hair reflect the blue light.

When Anders stopped the magic and removed his hand, Fenris stayed in his stance for a little while, looking relaxed. He then smiled a little before opening his eyes again and lowering his head towards Anders in a thankful gesture.


	6. Chapter 6

**Little warning before hand on this one:**  
><strong>There's a few bits and bobs that are 18+ material in this chapter. So if you don't don't like that sorta stuff you better turn back!<strong>

A few months later the Qunari attacked the entire City and killed the Viscount.

Anders was there when he confronted the Arrishock. The Rogue standing there without fear facing the beast allmost doubled his size. When the epic battle finally began Hawke used his agility to evade the Arrishocks heavy attacks, to then stab and slice from behind or the sides where his larger opponent wasn't expecting it.

Anders stood on the stairs watching the battle in awe alongside Varric and Isabela who seemed equaly as tensed as himself. He was pretty sure Varric was memorising as much as possible to be able to tell the story later whilst Isabela was just taken aback at what Hawke was doing to protect her.

As the fight dragged on and on Anders started feeling agitated. Hawke had been hit a few times and had barely managed to heal himself with potions, the entire situation was calling upon Anders' inner healer.

"You can't help him! He has to do this on his own", Justice kept telling him before Anders shook him off again.

"Maker's breath, the battle's been going on for half an hour now", Varric muttered under his breath.

Both the contestants were starting to obviously tire. The Arrishock was bleeding all over from all the minor wounds that Hawke had inflicted, whilst the other was starting to loose his breath. But then it happened. The Arrishock dashed forwards, weapon held high and brought it down smashing the marble floor underneath it, just missing his target. Hawke sprang into the air and rammed his two daggers into the Arishock's chest. The giant Qunari fell backwards onto the steps in front of Anders and tried to breath, to no prevail.

"One day... we shall... return", the leader queezed before his head fell back and his last breath left him.

The other qunari that resided in the hall then slowly started to leave, not uttering a word and just after they left Night Commander Meredith and Firsts Enchanter Orsino came running into the hall.

"Is it over?", Meredith questioned, her sword held high.

"It's over", Hawke answered, facing them.

"The city has been saved!", one of the people through in and the masses started cheering to their new hero.

Meredith looked around at the applauding people to then set her eyes back on Hawke as she sheathed her sword again.

She slowly marched up to Hawke and came to a halt in front of him, her usual earnest face fixed on him.

"Well done. It seems Kirkwall has a new champion."

Hawke smiled confidently and looked back at his companions and Anders sighed with relief.

They were led out of the Viscount's keep with the cheering of the people of Kirkwall and as they came down the grand steps to high town there were even more people, cheering and clapping.

"Looks like you're going to be real popular from now on, Hawke", Varric chuckled

"I can live with that", Hawke boasted and squared his shoulders to then grimace a bit," Erm, Anders would you mind healing me later? I think I got knocked a bit hard in a few places."

"Sure thing", Anders chuckled before looking at Isabela,"And you're a lucky woman."

"Oh I know I am!", she lent over to peck Hawke on the cheek," I'd say you're my night in shining armour, but the templar armour is kind of ugly."

They made their way up to high town to Hawke's mansion where the rest of their group were llready waiting and eagerly got inside, leaving the crowds outside.

"Ah Master Hawke!", Bodan came jogging up the entry hall," I've heard the good news already! May I congratulate you, to your new title?"  
>"Thank you Bodan! I'm taking it, you kept the house in one piece during my absence?", Hawke replied as everybody entered the grand hall with it's blazing fireplace.<p>

Fionnlagh came bolting down the stairs from the bedroom and pounced his owner, who instantly began to play with his best friend.

Anders stood beside them smiling to himself. He may have been a cat person but he still admired dog's loyalty and love. Suddenly feeling a bit sad missing Sir Pounce-Alot he sighed and earned a pat on the shoulder by Merrill.

"Don't worry Anders, I'm sure one day you'll find yourself another cat like Sir Pounce-Alot", she comforted.

"Thanks, Merrill", Anders smiled back down at her," I don't think there's any cat just like him but I'd like to have a constant companion in my satchel on my travels again."

"So now what?", Aveline took a step forwards," You've become the Champion of Kirkwall. What are your next plans?"  
>"Well", Hawke pondered rubbing his beard with his right hand," Maybe I'll go into politics?"<br>"In that case, we are all doomed", Fenris jested from the back.

"Oh hush you!", Isabela elbowed him.

They stayed the afternoon and Orana, Hawke's elven house maid, was busy bringing tea and biscuits for everybody.

After a long evening Anders and Hawke were the last to stay. Anders kept his promise and began healing Hawke after they had left the table to stand by the fireplace.

Over the past few days Anders had been talking to Justice and had come up with a plan that wasn't only risky but that would cost lives but would most definitely stop the tower from containing the mages in Kirkwall. But he'd need someone's help and the only person he trusted with this was the man who's shoulder he was currently fixing. But he wasn't sure how Hawke would take it.

"Hawke?", Anders began as he worked himself down the other man's back.

"The way you're saying my name isn't promising good news, Anders", Hawke sighed.

"Well I've thought a lot lately and I've come up with a plan to free the mages of Kirkwall. But I'll need your help for it. I know you've only just gotten rid of one issue with the Arrishok but Kirkwall lacks a Viscount and we both know that Meredith will not let someone climb to that post if she can use this situation to her advantage."

"Indeed", Hawke muttered," So you're worried she'll screw the lid even tighter on the mages in the tower?"

"Yes, that and the Chantry is not doing anything anymore to try and maintain balance between the two fractions so it's bound to become worse and worse."

There was silence for a while as Anders continued to move his glowing hands over the cuts and bruises of Hawkes lower back.

"Anders", Hawke murmured before throwing him a glance over his shoulder," You're not seriously considering harming the Chantry are you? Sebastian would have you killed, if not tear your head off himself!"

"I know and that's why I need your help. Take a few of our group with you and visit me in my clinic... act like you know nothing of my plan and I'll just ask you for Sera Petra and Drake Stone and claim it's to do with a ritual to separate me from justice so the others don't know. Then later when my task is complete, shove all the blame on me. When Sebastian looses it act like you'll stab me. I'll play my death role and when you all leave I'll run and hide for a few years. You'll get out of it clean, I promise."

Hawke rubbed his eyes with the thumb and the index finger of his right hand whilst sighing.

"Let me think about it, Anders. And let me see how things develop. If I show up at your clinic one day with some of our friends and ask you why you called for my assistance, you'll know what I mean."

Anders nodded and finished up healing Hawke's leg before straightening himself.

"Deal!"  
>The men shook hands and nodded shortly but assuring at each other before Anders left the grand mansion.<p>

The night air was cool but still nice to feel on his skin as Anders took a deep long breath of the freshness. He turned to leave when he saw two eyes reflecting from the ally he was heading to. At first he figured it was a cat and smiled as he tried to get closer cautiously. But as he did so he noticed they were to large and stopped cocking an eyebrow.

"Either the cats are getting rather large here in high town, or the wolves are getting cheekier", he said out loud and squinted his eyes together into the darkness.

"Irony favours the second", a deep chuckle came from the eyes as they moved a tad up and down with it.

The glowing eyes moved upwards to be almost at Andres' hight and then moved forwards to reveal the tip of an elven nose and a few tufts of white hair.

"I had no idea elf eyes reflected", Anders tilted his head to the side still cocking an eyebrow.

"Our noses, eyes and ears are a different shape to your human ones cus they're advanced. And we see formidably in the dark as well as the day. I'm guessing that might be the cause", Fenris shrugged as he came closer again, coming to a stop infront of the slightly taller man.

Anders smiled back at him enjoying the shimmering of his white hair in the moonlight.

They had gotten closer and more understanding over the past few weeks. Nothing going past the occasional make-out though and Anders didn't mind it at all. He hadn't had a slow relaxed relationship apart from Karl and he dearly needed it. He reached forwards and cupped the elf's face in his right hand. Fenris leaned his face into the touch and closed his eyes, showing his trust to the mage.

"What are you doing here anyway? You left allmost an houre ago", Anders asked brushing a thumb over Fenris' cheek.

"Being in the mansion all the time gets dull after a while", Fenris replied, still not opening his eyes," So I someties sit outside on the steps to the Viscount's keep and watch the nightly activities of Hightown."

"Why not the Chantry?" Anders asked before pecking the elf's forehead and heading up towards the Chantry with him," It's closer to your place."  
>"Nothing ever hapenes around the Chantry", Fenris huffed," Besides, I think I scared a few of the sisters that had night shift."<p>

Anders laughed out loud as they walked around the corner past the Chantry and up the stairs to the more noble parts of Hightown.

They entered Fenris' mansion and walked up the stairs to where the elf usually resided. Anders took a seat at the bench and watched the other man getting wood to light a fire in the chimney.

"You should tell him of your plan", Justice's voice chimed in his head.

"He'll probably want to have nothing to do with me after I've destroyed the Chantry anyway", Anders answered, a clenching feeling arising in his stomach," It'll be better off he thinks me dead and then moves on."

"I understand you're willing to sacrifice a lot for the right cause", Justice answered as Fenris tore a wooden door off a cupboard," But you'll never know if he would have stuck to you if you had told him from the beginning and that will keep you sidetracked for the rest of your days."

"If I tell him now he'll try and stop me from even starting this mission", Anders answered again the clenching in his stomach growing as Fenris cracked more wood in half as if it were cardboard," I know him well enough to know that."

"As you wish, it is your relationship. You must know if you are willing to sacrifice it", Justice gave in and disappeared again.  
>He never was around much when Anders was with Fenris. Anders figured he might feel out of place, awkward or just plain out didn't understand it, but he didn't care.<p>

Fenris was now trying to light the fire but to no prevail and Anders thought he saw a snarl and a cuss in Tevinter, before the elf's shoulders sagged in a sigh.

"Do you want me to take care of that?", Anders tried not to laugh.

He earned a glare.

"If you laugh, I promise you, I'll set you on fire!"

When Anders smirked and Fenris noticed what he had just said he looked the other way, his ears dropping in shame. When the tips of the ears started turning red, Anders had had his fill and snapped his fingers, instantly igniting the fireplace in a grand blaze.

Fenris straightened himself, coughed to clear his throat and took a deep breath before looking at Anders earnestly again.

"Thank you."

"Not a problem", Anders was still smirking.

Ever since Fenris had told Anders what Danarius had demanded of him during his time as a slave, making Anders feel so sick he was close to puking a few times, Fenris had started to go shy on any hints towards that subject. Anders didn't mind it though; as a matter of fact he loved it. He enjoyed seeing the otherwise so self assure Fenris trying to find words or giving him that awkward stare.

The elf reached into one of the still intact wardrobes and retrieved two bottles of wine of which he handed one to Anders.

"It may not be Agreggio Pavali, but it's not bad", Fenris commented as he sat down next to Anders.

Fenris took a long swig from the bottle before gesturing to Anders to drink as well. Anders sighed and took a a few gulps from his own bottle. Truly it wasn't a bad wine but he wasn't the sort of person that drank it in the amounts the man next to him did. He then placed the bottle on the table to rest a hand on Fenris' left knee. The elf immediately tensioned at the touch but quickly relaxed again, giving Anders a sorry look.

"It's all right, Fenris", Anders chuckled as he ran his hand slowly up and down the lower thigh," I can understand that with your background ..."

"Still, I feel like a fool. I know you wouldn't harm me, yet I still flinch at every touch", Fenris sighed and took another long swig from his bottle," You said the mages in the towers also get maltreated. I've never seen a magi tower from the inside but I can't imagine the Templers could hide cruelty so easily in there."  
>"They didn't even try hiding it", Anders growled, feeling justice crawling up the back of his thoughts at the memory," They beat us, locked us into tiny windowless chambers and raped us at their will", he snorted fighting back Justice," I was fortunate enough to not have been punished with the last of the three."<p>

"Sounds much like how they treat us elves in Tevinter..."

The room fell silent, only the crackling of the fire to be heard, until Anders smiled at Fenris softly before getting up.  
>"I should get going then. Still need to clean up the clinic", he announced and just made to leave before Fenris grabbed his right wrist.<p>

"Stay... please."

Anders looked back down at the other man, the shimmer dancing in the tact of the flames on the big green eyes looking up at him making him hesitate.

"Are you sure you want me to stay the night?", Anders cocked an eyebrow before turning back to him.

"I... umm", Fenris' mouth twitched as he searched for the right words,"It's safer up here in HighTown for you."  
>"Aaaaaaaaand?", Anders dug on crossing his arms in front of his chest.<p>

"And", Fenris lowered his voice, „I grow tired of inhabiting this giant house all by myself."  
>Aha, so the oh so proud warrior didn't want to be on his own? Anders smiled amused down at Fenris as he glared back up at him.<p>

"I do not need any sly remarks about this."  
>"I know. You probably had to swallow all your pride to ask in the first place."<br>Anders chuckled and looked around the room. If he was going to stay here more often he'd spend a lot of time cleaning it up that was for sure. He cringed, as he remembered about the dead bodies that still littered the main hall.  
>"What's the issue?", Fenris had cocked an eyebrow.<br>"Just thinking about your decoration in the entry hall", Anders sighed as he gathered a few torn books and tossed them into the fire.

Fenris looked at him confused for a few moments before it dawned on him.  
>"I do not own the right tools to dispose of such bodies without being seen, I'm afraid."<p>

"You should ask Varric", Anders snorted and put one of Fenris' great swords aside that was leaning on the bed before sitting on it to test how soft it was," I'm sure he knows enough people that are capable enough to do that task for you."

Andres started bouncing up and down on the mattress, finding it bemusing until he earned an awkward smile from Fenris.

"You do realise", Anders cleared his throat and leaned back to rest his weight on his hands," That if I'm here more often, your mansion will be cluttered with my manifestos, just like my clinic?"

"I could always burn them", Fenris jested as he got to his feet to slender over to Anders and bend over, they're faces a few inches apart," I'm sure they would heat this room well."

Anders replied with a sly smile rather than words before guiding Fenris' face closer to his with his index finger to the other chin. He closed his eyes as their lips touched cautiously at first but grew firm quickly. The kiss was sweet and long and Anders felt that familiar fuzzy feeling in his lower stomach as Fenris ran his fingertips over his cheek before pulling back and straightening himself again.

They looked fondly at each other for a few moments before Fenris closed his eyes and smiled to himself.

"It seems like life knows no limits to irony."

"What makes you say that?", Anders raised an eyebrow.

"I was maltreated by mages all my life and thought I'd hate them all until the end of my days. And yet here I am! With you, a mage and abomination on top of that, but it does not feel wrong in the slightest way."

That touched Anders in such a way, it felt like his heart beat once harder than usual. All his life he had been treated like an outcast for what he was and out of all people he had ever come across the unlikeliest of the lot ended up being at his side liking him for his character and nothing else.

He looked fondly at his elf, fighting back a tear of pride and joy as he watched him look down and licking his lips nervously.

"It is getting late and we should probably get some rest. I ... hope you don't mind sharing a bed. The others in the mansion are rather damaged from neglect."

"I couldn't be happier about this being the only bed in this house", Anders thought to himself smirking.  
>"Oh, I have no issue with it, Fenris."<br>The elf smiled awkwardly again before reaching down to start opening his buckles from his armour.

Anders watched him attentively as he removed one peace after another, biting his lip when the tunic was removed.

"Your turn", Fenris grumbled when he saw Anders' face.  
>"No fair! You didn't remove your pants", Anders jested as he kicked his boots into a corner before gesturing to Fenris, "Besides I can't show off that much muscle."<p>

"No need to," Fenris plonked down on the bed and kicked Anders off it," I prefer a softer physics anyway."

Anders chuckled and started to slowly take of his shoulder pauldrons letting the drop to the floor with a loud thud, to then begin undoing his actual robes. Watching Fenris' bemused face at his show, he dropped his heavy fabric next to the pauldrons and Fenris raising a curious eyebrow when he slowly pushed his pants down to then kick them backwards almost hitting the fire with them.

"If you burn your clothes, I do not own a pair that will fit you and you will be forced to march back to your clinic tomorrow without dignity", Fenris snorted as Anders came over to him and sat beside him.

"I'd just have to stay here for a while longer until you organise me some new ones", Anders replied before flopping down on the bed and patting the spot beside him.

Fenris smiled a little insecure towards the gesture before leaning over to the candle and blowing it out, to then lie next to the mage. Anders felt how awkward the other man was when he pulled the covers over them and Fenris went ridged.

"If this situation brings back bad memories, Fenris, I can always sleep on the floor", Anders offered as he turned to the side to face him.

"No it's fine", Fenris looked up with apologetic eyes," I'm sorry. I feel like a fool. I'm accustomed that this situation being followed by ... unpleasant pain..."

"To say the least", Anders grumbled and gritting his teeth in anger," I sincerely hope that magister dies a gruesome death for what he's done to you."

Anders could feel Justice starting to rise again at the back of his head, fuelled by his hatred for Danarius.

"If he hasn't I'll make sure he will", Fenris sneered, his usual self assurance returning a little," He doesn't give up easily and will only sleep soundly when he lies 6 feet under."

Anders blinked slowly and firmly a few times to get Justice back in place before smiling proudly down at the man beside him.

"Much better! You're cute when you're unsure of yourself but I prefer you confident", he chuckled and earned a sceptical look.  
>Anders chuckled again and spread his arms a little, gesturing with a nod for Fenris to come closer. After a few moments of contemplation the elf scooted closer and let out a surprised yelp when Anders rolled on his back bringing Fenris to lie half on top of him.<br>"What are you doing?"

Fenris was all ridged again but didn't try to pull back, his eyes startled and unsurely looking at Anders'.

"I'm trying to show you that it can also be pleasant to have another person in bed beside you", he reached up and gently forced Fenris' head down onto his chest," I know it's much to ask from you, but just try and relax."

Fenris shifted a little to try and make himself comfortable but still stayed ridged, all his muscles tensed against Anders's skin. The mage sighed and reached up to gently scratch the delicate skin behind the elf's ear, he'd heard the Warden Commander joke about it with Velanna about it once and figured them both being elves there must be some truth to it. He was surprised at how fast it worked though. Fenris's frame immediately relaxed against his body and his eyes rolled up into his closing eye lids. A deep muffled sigh escaped the man's lips as his ears twitched ever so slightly in rhythm to the scratching and Anders had to restrain a laugh at the entire situation.

"Well this is an interesting fact to know", he mused after a few more scratches and earned a rumble from the other man," I really didn't think this would work so well."

Fenris lazily pulled his head away from Anders' hand a little and opened his eyes dazed to look at the other man. The face of satisfaction he was giving Anders reminded the mage of another situation he wouldn't mind at all at that point in time and made chew a little on his lower lip. Fenris seemed oblivious to it and scooted up a little to gently rub his nose and lips against Anders' collar bone and neck, sending shudders through the mage's spine.

"Nobody's ever done that to me", the elf muttered, running the tip of his nose along a tendon in Anders's neck," How did you come to know of it?"

"I uh..", Anders was desperately trying to suppress the waves of want that flushed through him," The Hero of Ferelden discussed it with another elf in Vigil's keep once. I overheard them."

"I see...", Fenris' breath was hot on Anders' neck," I ask you not to demonstrate it in front of any of the others though."

Anders nodded, concentrating hard on keeping his feelings at that time hidden, he could already feel his body starting to betray him. But when Fenris placed a delicate kiss just below lobe of his ear, his body won over his spiritual strength and he cursed himself innerly for it. Fenris stopped and didn't even need to look down to know what was going on but looked at Anders in a contemplating way before looking to the side and biting his lower lip.

"I know you've been keen on it for a while know", he started and stopped Anders from interrupting by holding up an index finger," Show me a way that the act of love making is not painful and you will get what you desire."

Anders' heart skipped a beat. Was he being serious about this?  
>"In that case there's an easy solution", Anders purred chewing his lower lip again anxiously.<p>

"And that would be?", Fenris asked cocking an eyebrow.

Anders pulled the shorter man fully on top of himself and smirked as he felt through the clothing that Fenris wasn't left cold by the entire situation himself either.

"I am inexperienced in this position though", Fenris lowered his ears a little and looked to the side again.

"Don't worry I'll tell you if you're doing something wrong", Anders chuckled and earned himself a daring stare. Oh how he loved that wild challenging look. He reached down and slowly slid Fenris' pants and smalls down his legs in one fluent move to then run them back up his thighs over his buttocks. The elf smirked before kicking off his under clothing fully and then sit up to straddle the man below him, showing off his full body.

"Doesn't matter how much you hate them," Anders said letting his gaze go up and down Fenris whilst licking his lips," Those lyrium markings look stunning on you."

Fenris made them flare in response sending another wave of want through Anders' body as he heard the song again. His breathing quickened as the elf swiftly tore his smalls off of him in one quick motion and tossed them over the side of the bed. When he then licked the palm of his right hand giving Anders another daring look, Anders had to fight with himself to not jump up and pounce him instead. He perched himself on his elbows never leaving the other mans eyes with his own and watched as he leaned over him so their noses just touched. The honey brown eyes willing and the emerald green eyes daring locked for a short moment before Anders let out a deep moan, as Fenris took him in hand and started to stroke him. The elf torturously slowly rubbed up and down his entire length and stroked his testicles every second time he reached the base sending intensifying jolts of pleasure up the mage's spine. Anders threw his head back, breathing heavier and heavier as the speed finally increased gradually. Fenris didn't hesitate to start kissing and nibbling Anders' now fully exposed neck as he changed his tactic to gently rubbing Anders' tip instead of testicles on the upstroke, earning him louder and louder moans as Anders was close to his limit. Anders' thighs and buttocks tensioned when he came loudly and soiled his stomach with his own seed before collapsing on the bed, still breathing hard. He stroked some of his tattered hair out of his face and licked his lips at the sight of Fenris preparing for the next round, spitting into his right hand to then rub himself with the saliva slickening his hard erection. When Fenris swiftly grabbed Ander's legs and pushed them back though it was Anders' turn to yelp with surprise. The elf was licking and chewed his lips so willingly as he got himself into position for the actual act, Anders could almost see the lust glinting in his eyes when the elf looked up into his face again.

"If I hurt you..."

"I'm sure you won't", Anders reassured him with a daring smirk," Now take me already! I've been waiting so long for this!"

"As you wish", Fenris purred as he grabbed his own cock and positioned it on Anders' anus. The mage shuddered with anticipation as he felt the tip press against his opening. Then Fenris slowly pushed forwards and Anders let out another loud deep moan as the cock penetrated him, filling him with its thickness and warmth. It was painful at the start, yes. But it always was and was soon replaced with a much more pleasant feeling, especially when Fenris' hips touched his buttocks.

And then the elf began to thrust. Anders turned his face to the side biting the pillow beneath his head and moaned through his nose at every slap of Fenris' hips against him. Every stroke felt better than the one before it and Anders turned his face into the pillow muffling his moans. He could hear Fenris' hard breathing and a faint moan every now and then amongst the rhythmic smacking noise.

It felt so good, Anders had to turn his face up a little again to get enough air, his face no doubt flustered it felt so warm. And then Fenris hit the spot, sending the yet strongest wave of pleasure through Anders' body and making him throw his head back and almost scream. Fenris immediately stopped, looking worried.

"Maker, please don't stop!", Anders pleaded, looking desperately up at him," It feels so good!"

A sly smile spread across the elfs lips before he thrusted hard against the same spot again making Anders scream once more arching his back and pressing his head hard against the cushion. Fenris continues his thrusting hitting the spot almost every time now and moaning as well, his deep voice sending chills down Anders' back. And then Anders came again, harder this time and spilling more of his own fluids across his stomach, with a shaky scream. Whilst Fenris needed another two thrusts before thighs and buttocks tensioned as well and he came inside Anders, mouth wide open in a suppressed moan.

They stayed like that for a while before Fenris pulled out of Anders and slumped on the bed beside him, chest heaving.

"Maker's breath, I was needing that", Anders gasped out of breath.

Fenris chuckled in response and lazily skidded closer.

Anders turned to the side to embrace him and nested the bridge of his nose in his white hair.

The last thing Anders remembered before he fell to sleep exhausted was an arm wrapping around his waist and a faint "I'm yours..."


	7. Chapter 7

The three years after that passed without much trouble. Well apart from Merediths grip getting tighter and tighter on the mages in Kirkwall, that is. The tighter she squeezed the mages the harder they rebelled and it didn't take long until Templars started visiting Anders' clinic almost every night to check he was not performing blood magic. His friendship towards Hawke granted him quite a bit of immunity but should they find him using the slightest hint of blood magic he was going to get dragged to the gallows. So to avoid the Templars, he stayed in his clinic during day time and wondered up to Fenris' mansion in Hightown at night to stay there. Not to mention it had the bonus of him not having to spend the nights alone anymore.

But one day Hawke appeared in his clinic with Aveline and Isabela and Anders knew that he had finally agreed with him that there had to be something done about Meredith. He also knew that this meant that his secret relationship with Fenris would have to end soon, turning him even bitterer than usual. But they collected the ingredients Anders needed and Hawke even helped him into the Chantry to hide the explosive mix under one of the floor tiles in the main hall.

That evening he decided to visit Varric in the Hanged Man for a drink, to at least have someone to talk to that was usually cheerful in character. He dearly needed a drink as well. Old Anders was telling him that what he had just planted in the Chantry was wrong, but Justice desperately tried to block that thought out. It was giving him a headache to say the least.

"Ah Blondy!", Varric greeted him as he came into the dwarfs suit," Haven't seen you here in a long time! How was your hunt for the Selapetra and Drakestone with Hawke?"  
>"Smelly and hot", Anders sighed and plonked his bum on the seat beside Varric.<p>

"You look like you need a drink, my friend", Varric called for some mead before leaning back in his chair a little and mustering Anders," You've been getting a bit cranky lately. D'you want to talk about what's bothering you? You know I've always got an ear open for you."

Anders tapped the side of his head with his right index finger.

"My mind is constantly at war with itself and it gets tiring after a while."

"I'll bet", Varric smiled at him fondly as the drinks were unlovingly slammed on the table in front of them," But hey, maybe if you tell me a bit about your time back with the Wardens it'll get your thoughts off things. It normally helps."

"Well", Anders smiled tiredly as he ran a finger around the rhyme of his mug," There was this one time when we were in Vigil's keep and Oghren asked me about the mage robes."

"Sounds interesting", Varric chuckled and took a swig from his mug," Do tell!"  
>"Well he asked me what it was like to wear a dress all day", Anders chuckled and took a swig as well," And then I told him that we wore the robes for quick thrists in the dark corners of the Chantry so the Templars wouldn't fi-."<br>Screams and shouts came from the main area of the tavern and both Anders and Varric looked down the hallway. A mage dressed in fine robes was standing at the top of the stairs with his back turned to them. He was casting a warding spell around himself whilst summoning shades and firing fire at …. at Fenris! The elf was in the main bar area with Hawke, Isabela and Merrill battling the shades and trying to get to the mage. Anders had never seen so much hatred in his elfs eyes when he charged at the man at the top of the stairs.

"Maker's breath! That must be Danarius!", Anders muttered and readied his staff. As he called upon his magic to attack, Danarius glanced over his shoulder and spotted him. Before he could launch his lighting the door in front of him was slammed shut.  
>"NO!", Anders yelled and slammed his shoulder into the door. It wouldn't budge and the little shock he got from it told him it was magically sealed.<p>

He fired fire, ice, electricity, ANYTHING he could come up with at the door, but it wouldn't budge. Anger and worry building up inside him he could feel Justice starting to take the upper hand as he screamed and yelled at the door.

"BLONDY!", Varric was shaking him by the lower arm," Cool down! There's nothing we can do! Besides, they're 4 and he's only one! They'll manage, I'm sure!"

"That man out there deserves to die a retched death! And all I can do is stand here and wait", Anders' shoulders slouched as he rested his forehead on the sealed door.

He could hear the fighting going on for what seemed forever until all of a sudden it went quiet. Anders frowned and strained his ears to listen. All he heard was a sickening crunching sound followed by a loud thud.

"Please, don't kill me!", a woman's voice rang through the hall to the room.

It was followed by multiple people's murmurs and then the slamming of a door. More murmuring followed before the door was slammed again.

Anders gently pushed the door to find it opened again and he looked out into the hall cautiously. The main area was littered with slaver corpses and blood. He left Varric's room with the dwarf in persuit and walked down the stairs eying the massacre, stepping over some of the corpses to find the robed one in the far corner of the bar. When Anders stood over Danarius' very dead body he felt sickened.

It wasn't the fact that his throat had been crushed and torn out. It was the fact that the man that lay stone cold on the floor beside his feet, who had treated elves in the most unthinkable of ways, possessed the physics of a half breed. Anders felt like kicking the corps all the way to dark town to then have it rot in some corner. Instead he spat on the corps and stormed out of the tavern, needing some fresh air. As he stood out there he let his head tilt back and took some deep breaths and shaking his head.

"See it this way Blondy," Varric had appeared beside him and looked up at him with a comforting smile," At least the bastard's dead!"

"Indeed", Anders sighed and licked his lips. He looked up as an elven woman passed him, she walked proudly but seemed troubled. Her red hair tied back to a bun and her green eyes furrowed. When she noticed him looking she glared at him making Anders tilt his head a little. She reminded him of…

"Are you…"  
>"I am none of your business!", she spat at him and stalked off in the direction of the docs.<p>

"What's with her?", Varric questioned himself as he raised an eyebrow when the elf walked around the next corner out of sight.  
>"Never mind her", Anders sighed," I think I'll go home now… I need some rest."<p>

"I agree, Blondy. You look like shit", Varric chuckled.

Anders cautiously entered the manor in high town and closed the door quietly behind himself. He could hear Fenris cussing and yelling in Arcanum as he entered the hall. Loud bangs and clinking noises followed, before the cussing started anew.

He slowly climbed the stairs to Fenris' chamber and stood still in the door way. The room was a mess, the table that had been on the left lay shattered at the base of the opposite wall and the elf stood at the fire place punching the wall repetitively with his right fist. When Anders took a step forwards the elf's head turned showing just how angry he was. His pupils had shrunken to tiny dots and Anders was sure his hair was standing a little at the top of his head.

"It's only me, Fenris."

Fenris snorted and looked back at the wall, breathing hard.

Anders cautiously walked up to the shattered table to examine it. It had hit the wall so hard that it had cracked into 5 pieces and was most definitely irreparable, the part of the wall it had hit had crumbled slightly as well. He sighed and looked back at Fenris who was now rubbing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger and shaking his head slowly.

"I'm glad you let out such anger on immobile objects and not me", Anders stated and got a glare in response. Fenris was still high strung but definitely better than a few minutes ago when Anders had only just entered the room. He walked up to the shorter man, but just about stayed out of arms reach to him.

"What happened in The Hanged Man exactly?"

"How do you know?", Fenris looked up at him suspiciously.

"I was visiting Varric."

"And you did nothing to aid us?", a snarl started forming on the elf's face.

"I was locked in the room by your former master as soon as he spotted me, Fenris. Of course I was trying to help!", Anders spat back and took a step closer.

"I'm… sorry. I did not mean to accuse you of anything…", Fenris bit his lip and looked to the side his features softening," I found my sister and it turned out she betrayed me to Danarius."

"So I wasn't mistaken", Anders muttered to himself looking down and remembering the elven woman outside The Hanged Man.  
>"I beg your pardon?", Fenris tilted his head.<p>

"Oh sorry, just talking to myself. But Danarius is dead now. Surely that relieves you."  
>"In one way yes", Fenris turned around to walk over to the bed and slouch on it," But finding out about some of my past didn't turn out the way I wished it would."<p>

Anders sat down next to him and watched the elf sigh and look over to the fire place.

"What did you find out, if I may ask?", Anders prodded.

"That magic has stained my life from the very beginning", Fenris looked at him with a sad expression in his eyes," my sister's a mage and I took these markings by my own free will."

Anders raised both eye brows in astonishment.

"So…", Anders didn't know how to say what crossed his mind in any nicer way," you were jealous of your sister and took the markings to obtain magic?"

"So it would seem," Fenris snarled at the fireplace," That and to prevent my family from slavery, apparently."

"Wow… okay…", Anders muttered," Anything else, if possible more cheerful you found out."  
>"My real name", Fenris looked back up at Anders now," is Leto."<p>

Anders frowned at that. His real name… Anders had one too… but he wasn't willing to ever say it again. He wanted to leave that part of his life far behind. And the more he thought about it the more he figured Fenris would probably think the same.

"The irony of it all is", Fenris looked down at his own hands with a sad smile on his face," That Leto means as much as "the joyous one."

Anders chuckled at that. Irony it was indeed. He wrapped an arm around Fenris' broad shoulders and nuzzled the top of his head. The elf's hair smelled similar to the woods after rain fall and always reminded Anders of his first rainy day outside the circle.

"I'm so used to calling you Fenris I think I'll stick to that," he proposed and closed his eyes calming himself with Fenris' sent.

He felt the other man's clawed gauntlets hold his free hand and gently stroke the back of it. They stayed like that for quite a while, the only sound in the room was the popping and crackling of the fire place until Fenris squeezed Anders' hand.

"You seem bitter lately. Is there anything bothering you?", the elf asked not moving.

Anders opened his eyes and looked at the dancing fire for a while debating on telling him or not.

"Justice and I are getting into each other's hair more often… What's right or wrong", Anders answered keeping to his original plan of not telling Fenris. He knew it would only make his life even more complicated than it already was. He had only just gotten his freedom and the last thing he needed now was to be chased down by entire Thedas just because he supported Anders... or he'd try and stop Anders… both of which would cause Fenris more trouble than he needed.

"You are so selfless Anders. I admire you for that", Justice stated at the back of his mind.

"It is the right thing to do… even if it may be painful for the both of us at the start", Anders replied mentally.

"I agree", the spirit replied once more before disappearing again.

"So anyway…. Apart from wanting to sell you to Danarius, your sister seems quite the looker", Anders tried to cheer up the mood.

Fenris moved his head to the side to look up at Anders with a cocked eyebrow.

"You saw her?"

"She told me to fuck off outside The Hanged Man", Anders answered and pouted," She looks a great deal like you when she glares though. And she seemed majorly pissed."  
>"You would be too if your brother had almost killed you", Fenris snorted," I'm glad Hawke was there to stop me or I'd be regretting it at this very instant."<p>

Anders swallowed dryly. Not even he'd kill a close relative. Even in that situation. Fenris noticed his absent and shocked face and pecked him on the cheek.

"Do not fret, I'd never harm you. Even with this facade we're pulling off in front of the others."

Anders smiled softly and embraced the elf tightly and never wanted to let go again.


	8. Chapter 8

Only a few days later the entire situation escalated in Kirkwall and Anders found himself running after Hawke towards the Chantry with the rest of the crew. They found Orsino and Meredith arguing outside at the base of the stairs.

"I WILL have the tower searched! Top to bottom!", Meredith announced.

"You can not do that! You have no right!", Orsino argued standing his ground.

"I have every right!", Meredith squared her shoulders and pointed at Orsion," You are harbouring Blood Mages and I intend to root them out before they infect this city!"

"Blood Magic?", Orsino threw his hands above his head in frustration," Where do you NOT see Blood Magic? My people can not sneeze, without you accusing them of corruption!"  
>"Do not trifle with me, mage! My patience is at an end!"<p>

"A wonder, that I never saw it begin!"

Hawke finally reached the two and came to a halt just in front of them giving them a silly smirk.

"The way you two carry on, people will talk!"

Meredith swiftly turned and marched towards him.

"This does not involve you, Champion!"

"I called him here", Orsino interrupted and crossed his arms in front of his chest," I think the people deserve to know just what you've done!"

"What I have done", Meredith turned back to Orsino," is protect the people of this city, time and again! What I have done is protect you mages from your curse and your own stupidity! And I will not stop doing it. I will not lower our guard, I dare not."

"Does the word crazy mean anything to you?", Hawke questioned, frowning at Meredith.

"What other option do we have?", Meredith countered her face changing from angry to sad," Tell me, Champion, that you have not seen with your own eyes what they can do, heard the lies of the mages that seek power."

"Some of them want exactly what you want, Meredith. They're not the enemy."

"You would cast us all as villains, but it is not so!", Orsino butted in, his enraged face close to Merediths.

Meredith continued to give Orsino a sad look.

"I know, and it breaks my heart to do it, but we must be vigilant", her face turned hard again," If you can not tell me another way, do not brand me a tyrant!"

Anders snorted and sneered in disgust at that. What a lame excuse to get away with all she did.

"This is getting us nowhere", Orsino sighed and started to walk away," Grand Cleric Elthina will put a stop to this."

Meredith stormed after him and grabbed him by the robes on his arm.

"You will NOT bring her Grace into this!"

Anders had had enough. He grabbed his staff and barged his way past his companions to stand before the two his insides clenching with rage.

"The Grand Cleric can not help you!"

"Explain yourself, mage!", Meredith snapped whilst turning and marching towards him now.

"I will not stand by and watch you treat all mages like criminals", he slammed his staff hard on the stone floor and then faced Orsino," Whilst those who lead us bow to their Templar jailers!"

"How dare you speak to me-",

"The circle has failed us, Orsino", Anders cut the elder mage off the rage growing so intense inside him that he could feel justice taking over and his voice dropping to a deamonic deep one," Even you should be able to see that!", he shook his head slightly and closed his eyes to get Justice back under control before turning away from them," The time has come to act. There can be no half-messures."

Anders slouched knowing what was about to come would cause many people much pain.

"Anders," Hawke came up behind him," what have you done?"

"There can be no turning back", Anders answered coolly and slammed his staff on the ground one more time to activate the bomb he had planted inside the Chantry a few days ago. The ground began to shake viciously beneath their feet before a great ray of red light erupted from the centre of the Chantry, rising high into the sky above Kirkwall. The crumbling walls of the great building around it twirled up into the ray of light to gather at the top of it, then exploding to then be spread out far across Kirkwall.

The dust that remained gushed past all of them after the light show had ended and left the houses around the Chantry aflame.

"Maker have mercy…", Meredith muttered taking a step back in shock.

Everybody looked up in utter terror until Hawke stared at Anders in well played disbelief.

"There can be no peace", Anders stated with bitterness thick in his words.

"Elthina! No! Maker no!", Sebastian dropped to his knees he looked like he was about to break down in tears," She was your most faithful, your most beloved….", he shook his head before dropping his head so his chin touched his collar bone," Why didn't she listen to me?"

Everybody watched Sebastian as he knelt there for a while, his face went blank and absent as he rose to his feet again. He held his hand out in front of him and lowered his head once more.

"Blessed be the souls of the faithful that they ascend to your right hand…"

Orsino turned back to Anders his face incredulous.

"Why? Why would you do such a thing?"  
>"I removed the chance of compromise, because there is no compromise", Anders explained himself with grief thick in his voice.<p>

"The Grand Cleric has been slain by magic, the Chantry destroyed", Meredith muttered to herself before turning around and grasping the opertunity," As knight-commander of Kirkwall, I hereby invoke the Right of Annulment! Every mage I the Circle is to be executed, immediately!"

Orsino swiftly turned to Hawke in fear.

"The Circle didn't even do this! Champion, you can't let her! Help us stop this madness!"  
>"And I demand you stand with us!", Meredith invoked and pointed at Hawke," Even you must see that this outrage can not be tolerated."<p>

"Why are we debating the Right of Annulment when the monster who did this is right here?", Sebastian butted in furiously," I swear to you, I will kill him!"

Anders shot Sebastian a hateful glare. He never really liked said prince, to hypocritical for his taste and now this.

"It can't be stopped now", Anders turned to Hawke again," You have to choose."  
>"This won't be easy, but I'll defend you", Hawke sighed looking the other way.<p>

"But what of Anders?", Sebastian shot in again.

"Hawke if you do this, I don't know if I can follow", Avelin shot in her doubts.

"And so you would defend these mages, after all they have done? Throw yourself at a hopeless cause?", Fenris questioned doubtfully.

Anders caught his eye for a swift moment, seeing the disbelief in his eyes that made his heart clench.

Fenris probably felt betrayed, Anders thought to himself, but he didn't let it break his facade.

"You sure about this? Even you might not win this fight.", Verric shrugged.

"I know we can do this", Merrill answered instead as she looked from Varric to Hawke,"I believe in you Hawke!"

"Shit. What have you gotten yourself into this time, Isabela?", Isabela muttered to herself.

"Think carefully, Champion", Meredith grimaced," Stand with them and you share their fate!"

"I can live with that", Hawke answered cock-sure.

"Thank the Maker", Orsino whispered.

"Even if I don't agree with it", Fenris sighed looking sternly at Hawke," I will stay at your side, my friend."  
>"I see what you are trying to do, and my place…. Is with you", Aveline joined in.<p>

"You are a fool, Champion", Meredith interrupted and waved her Templars over," KILL THEM ALL! I will rouse the rest of the Order!"

Orsino immediately turned to his fellow mages.

"Go! Get to the Gallows before it's to late."

The Mages hurried down the burning allays towards their circle just before the present Templars attacked.

Anders slouched on a box beside him and let his head and shoulders sink oblivious to the fighting going on beside him. It was done… he had killed numerous innocent people to save many more and there was no turning back now.

"Are you happy now?", he asked Justice.

"Our task is far from done yet, my friend. But we have taken the first most important step", Justices' booming voice echoed in the back of his head.

Anders sighed and absently looked up at the Templar that had rushed up to him. Even beneath all the armour Anders could see he was a big burley man and his eyes glinted in blind rage through the slits in his helmet as he held his sword high above his head, ready to bring it down. Anders didn't care to defend himself, for what he'd just done… he deserved death really.  
>But before the knight could bring his sword down his chest was pierced by a large sword and he was hurled off to the right to reveal Fenris behind him, his chest heaving and his entire body covered in blood. Anders idly watched the dead Templar hit the side of one of the walls and slide down to the base of it before looking back up at his saviour. Fenris stood there with an incredulous expression on his face and gently shaking his head, as if to silently ask "why?".<p>

Anders just looked back up at him with a sad and sorry face, tears gathering at the edges of his honey brown eyes. The elf immediately understood what he was trying to say to him and lowered his gaze equally as sad as Anders. That moment didn't last long though, the next Templar was already coming their way and Fenris stormed off towards him with a deafening war cry.

The battle didn't last to long after that and Anders remained on his box of shame during the entire time.

Orsino walked over to a mound of Templar corpses and sighed.

"So it's come to this", he turned to Hawke with a serious expression," I don't know if we can win this war, Champion, but…. Thank you", he casted a hateful look towards Anders," I will leave your…. Friend for you to deal with. I must return to the Gallows. Meet me there as soon as you can."

After that Orsino left and Hawke turned to Anders to walk to him and come to a halt behind him.

"I hope this works", Anders thought to himself. He had placed a bag under his robes on his back that was filled with a mixture that desolved tin and he dearly hoped that Hawke hadn't forgotten to pack the right blade and where to "stab" him.

"There's nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself", he began his good byes," I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself for ever to achieve this. This is the justice all mages have awaited."

"I might have understood, if you had only told me", Hawke answered coolly.

"You condone this? The brutal death of an innocent woman of faith? Someone you knew!Who trusted you?", Sebastian threw in yet again with hate glittering in his eyes.

"I wanted to tell you", Anders continued and spoke every word that was actually ment for Fenris, not Hawke," But what if you stopped me? Or worse, what if you wanted to help? I couldn't let you do that. The world needs to see this. Then we can all stop pretending the Circle is a solution. And if I pay for that with my life… then I pay. Perhaps then Justice would at least be free."

Anders swallowed dryly. Now it all depended on their acting to make this believable and leave Hawke free of any guilt.

"You have to pay for what you've done", Hawke said coolly.

"I know", Anders replied equally as cool," For what it's worth. I'm glad it's you. You have been me a good friend."

He heard the slicing noise behind his back as Hawke pulled out the preperated dagger and felt a slight sting as it stabbed through his robes into the bag and desolved but not before cutting him a little. Anders put on his best shocked looking face as he fell to the side the dagger still stuck in his robes as he hit the floor hard. He then gently twitched his hands and slowly closed his eyes, relaxing his features to then try and hide his breathing the best he could.

He could hear Hawke walk away behind him and thanked him silently for all he had done for him.

"It will never be enough", he heard Sebastian sigh," but it's a start."

"How invigorating!", Isabela sighed further away.

"We'd all best get to the Gallows, and quick. It's going to be quite a show", he heard Varric, his voice was undefinable.

After that he heard multiple people's footsteps leaving the area, but didn't dare move until he was perfectly sure they were truly all gone.

His decision was proven wise as he heard soft steps approaching him and coming to a halt just beside his chest. He knew exactly who it was and had the greatest of issues keeping himself from keeping up his farce. He heard something else hit the floor with a soft thud next to his head and figured they might have been knees.

"It seems I was not good enough for you to reconsider this", he heard Fenris' deep voice speak. He had never heard his voice like that before, so sad so full of despair. Anders had a hard time keeping back his tears and to hide his breathing at that.

He could feel one of the elf's hands brush over his cheek, down his neck and up over his shoulder. When he felt the elf's chest touch his back and his head on his shoulder Anders had to hold his breath.

"I am truly sorry I wasn't good enough to keep you alive", the elf was shaking and Anders could feel something on his robes in his shoulder area. It was moist…. Fenris was … crying?

Anders could feel his heart breaking, his intestines clenching and his eyes swelling.

The elf stayed like that for a short while until Hawke's voice called his name from the far distance. Before he raised himself from Anders he gave the mage one last peck on the cheek.

"You shall never be forgotten", he whispered and got to his feet to then run towards where Hawkes' voice had come from.

Anders lay there for a while longer, tears streaming down his cheeks freely now. He curled up into a fetal position and sobbed and shook hard on the hard stone floor.

"He is free now", Justice tried to sooth him," See it that way."

"I know", Anders whispered and tried to calm himself down," Still it doesn't make it any easier for myself right now."

"You must look on, Anders. You now have a mission to free the rest of the circles in Thedas. No doubt this incidence will cause them to arise already. But you must help them. Personal and private issues have no place in such a mission."

Anders sat up and pulled the half desolved dagger out of his robes alongside the bag and healed the little flesh wound the show had caused.

"You're right", he sighed," as always."

He wiped his tears off of his face with the back of his hand and got up to start walking towards the wounded coasts with a heavy heart.

" I will personally see that all mages in Thedas are set free."


	9. Chapter 9

Five years later Anders found himself on his way through The Anderfels again. He had just left Nordbotten and was on his way down to Orlais for the last Magi Circle on his long list. He had just passed the Merdaine and was on a climb up the Hunterhorn Mountains.

Before he had left the last village of his old home country, one of the inhabitants had requested him to be careful. Rumour had it that there were many ambushes on caravans through the small winding paths that crossed the mountains. He didn't care much for it. He had been ambushed many a time by thugs on his travels across entire Thedas and he knew how to deal with such people. He may have grown older and physically less vigilant but his magic had become so much stronger. Plus he had Justice who held his taint at bay. He had given the man a few silvers all the same for the information and the man bowed to him in gratitude. Generosity was extremely rare in the Anderfels and Anders knew that it left a good impression.

As he passed a deer that just stared at him he remembered what he had done all these years and wondered what had become of his friends. After he had left Kirkwall and gone up north towards Nevarra to get to Tevinter. He had figured he'd be safest there as a mage of all places after what he had done. In Nevarra itself he had come across Hawke and Isabela who had reported they had split up with the others only a few days before they had met him. The only thing they knew for certain was that Varric had headed off towards Antiva. What had happened to the rest of them they did not know.

Anders saw a dwarven merchant coming down the hill with his carriage and pulled the hood of his mantle lower over his face. As they passed he inclined his head in greeting and got a lazy wave in return.

"The thieves seem to have a day off", Anders chuckled to himself as he turned around another steep bend in the road.

"That or the wares he had weren't of interest to them", Justice threw in.

"Bah, let them come if they wish to fight", Anders muttered," I'm almost done with my mission and a few lousy thugs aren't exactly a challenge in comparison to rabid Templars."

Indeed he had slain so many of them in the last few months alone he had lost count. Not like he cared. Who stood in his way would be eliminated and the freed mages were so thankful they always made sure he was well equipped for his journey to the next tower.

He smiled to himself as he remembered the last circle he had freed. One of the apprentices came up to him, a young girl no older than 12, and had given him a ring. She had said it was for good luck and happiness, that it had been her first enchanted object and she wanted him to have it. He fiddled with it on his right hand as he continued to remember fondly.

As the night came he had reached the top of one of the mountains and walked through the dark woods listening to the sounds of the night that gave him inner peace. He knew he'd have to rest soon but he'd need to find a fitting spot for it and figured that there might be a little stream nearby, he'd rest there. Where he was now the trees were especially thick and old and he wondered what stories they may have had to tell.

But then he heard a branch crack a few meters away from him to his left and slowly looked that way. There were two reflecting eyes looking at him from the dark and his heart sank a little. The thieves the man had spoken of weren't thugs, they were Dalish. If he was lucky it was only a scout, if he wasn't, then half the clan was probably already circling him at that point.

He looked around and saw a clearing near by, if he could just make it then he'd stand a better chance against the elf than in between these trees. He began to run towards his chosen spot and saw the eyes shift as well. As he ran he could hear multiple footsteps behind and beside him but he didn't dare look, he had to make it to that clearing. He was almost there when tackled to the ground, winded he could feel a sharp point on his spine just below his neck.

"Nicht bewegen, Magier (don't move, mage)", the elf on top of him growled in broken Anderfels with a thick accent, "Komm langsam hoch und wehe du versuchst was (get up slowly, but don't you dare try anything)."

The elf got off of him and Anders slowly got to his feet, his hands held high as the elf circled around him with a bow and arrow pointed at him. When Anders got a glimps of his captor he frowned, he was not dalish, he lacked the markings. He was also wearing a mantle with a hood pulled down over his face but Anders could still see his face rather clearly. He was young and handsome, despite the scars on the left side of his face and from the shape of his hood, was also missing his left ear. He then looked around and saw that there were at least a dozen other elves with him all wearing their hoods deep into their faces. They cautiously came closer, their eyes reflecting in the moon light, giving them a ghostly appearance.

"Was willst du hier? (What are you doing here?)", the one eared elf asked him.

"Ich bin nur auf der Durchreise (I'm only a passing traveller)", Anders answered," Ich bin auf dem Weg nach Orlais (I'm on my way to Orlais)."

The elf frowned then turned to the others.

"Garbhan, run back to the camp. I'm sure the Keeper has better judgment than us", he commanded in perfect Kings Tongue.

One of the shorter figures nodded and dashed off into the woods, swiftly running between the thick tree trunks.

Anders kept his eyes on his captor, he must have originated from Ferelden. But then what was he doing so far north?

As they waited the other elves started whispering to each other all with different accents: Orlesian, Tevinter, Antivan, Fereldan and Anders was sure he also heard a Starkhaven one.

As the minutes continued to pass Anders' arms started getting numb and he sighed.

"May I drop my hands now? It's getting rather uncomfortable."  
>The one eared elf raised an eyebrow.<p>

"Sure, you may. You are not from The Anderfels?"

"Originally I am", Anders replied and dropped his arms feeling his warm blood pulse through his vanes freely again," But I grew up in the Ferelden circle."

"Intersting", the elf muttered before looking over his shoulder," hmm looks like the Keeper couldn't make it, you got the second in command to decide your fate."

Two figures had appeared from the woods, the short elf had returned with a taller one. Anders sighed again. He would be lucky enough to bump into a load of hostile elves wouldn't he? Not to mention he didn't know what they planned on doing with him. Ever since the incidence in Kirkwall he had noticed that the numbers of elves in the major cities had diminished greatly. He never quite understood why but seeing how many there were around him at the current time he wondered if they had all fled for some reason.

The two arrivals came closer and the taller elf came up to the one that pointed his bow and arrow at Anders. With a swift downward movement of his right hand he commanded the other to lower his bow, which he did. Then the taller elf stood in front of him, Anders couldn't see his face properly but he could see the elf was mustering him from head to toe and especially eying up his staff.

"Great I'm going to be judged by the big stick on my back", he thought to himself and chewed on his lower lip.

The elf reached up and pulled his hood back and Anders shook his head slightly to get his greying bangs out of his eyes. He looked coldly at the man in front of him who had frozen in his movements making Anders frown yet again.

The hooded head tilted slightly to the left side. The elf was obviously confused and Anders prayed to the maker that he didn't recognize him and was considering turning him in for a ransom.

The elf reached up to his own hood pulling it back and making Anders' heart clench. White hair appeared alongside emerald green eyes and an all too familiar face.

He could feel tears swelling up at the corners of his eyes as he looked into Fenris' confused face. The elf hadn't changed much over the years he had only gained a few more wrinkles around his beautiful eyes.

"You were dead", Fenris muttered, his hand reaching up to touch Anders' face as if in doubt he were real.

Anders leaned his head towards the rough hands and closed his eyes, fondly remembering their time together so many years ago. He quickly opened his eyes again when the hands twitched away from him though and gave Fenris a sad look.

"You know this mage?", the one eared elf questioned Fenris, looking between him and Anders.

"Indeed I do", Fenris replied still seeming very confused," We will bring him back to camp. The Keeper must meet him."

The elves nodded in unison and all turned and began to march through the woods. Anders stayed with them still not knowing what to truly make of the situation. He walked beside his old lover and surrounded by the other elves, his head held low but always side glancing at Fenris. He so desperately wanted to embrace the elf, feel his warm skin, smell his wonderful sent, kiss his luscious lips. But he knew what he had done to him would have sat deep in the elf's soul over the years, he'd probably not forgive him.

"Ever since you blew up that Chantry,"Fenris began keeping his gaze forward on their path," the elves of the cities have suffered so much."

Anders swallowed dryly and bit his lower lip.

"The mages that escaped the circles", Fenris continued as he stepped over a thick root," the majority of them fled to Minrathus. The City is overflowing as I speak," he ducked a low branch," And the more mages that live in that city the more slaves are needed to keep them all served. Where better to find slaves than in chaotic capital cities, where the main forces of justice are used to keep mages at bay rather than take care of the already unprivileged elves of the Alienages?"

"I see", Anders stated quietly. As if his conscience wasn't bad enough. He had never though that freeing the mages might compromise the elves even more.

They reached a clearing in the woods as they climbed over a small hill. Anders' jaw almost dropped when he saw the elven camp. It was huge! Dozens and dozens of tents and land ships were gathered at the clearing and he was sure that there were almost a hundred elves rushing about between them.

They walked down the hill and into the camp. As they passed the rows upon rows of tents the elves stopped their daily business to look unsure at Anders as he passed. A group of children that played near one of the fires saw them and came running up to them to take a closer look at what their hunters had caught. When they noticed Anders' staff they immediately took a step back, fear in their eyes as Anders looked back at them.

They approached a large tent in the centre of the camp. It was richly decorated and had a large fire in front of it with two large tree trunks around the fire as seats. Fenris gestured to one of them for Anders to sit, which he did. He then dismissed the other elves who walked off in different directions into the camp.

Anders watched them leave before looking back up at Fenris and taking a deep breath.

"Wait here", Fenris commanded and went into the large tent, the flap closing behind him.

Anders cracked his neck from side to side before looking into the dancing flames of the fire.

"Well at least I wasn't killed", he thought to himself and scratching his stubble.

He looked up again when he heard movement coming from inside the large tent and Fenris reappearing from behind the flaps, helping a second figure to walk.

Anders raised his eyebrows in surprise as he saw a familiar elven woman hold on to him with her arm around his shoulder. She was wobbly on her feet as she reached for one of the poles to not pull on Fenris to much. When her green eyes met Anders' honey coloured ones, her face brightened up like only hers could.

"Anders? Is that really you?"

"Glad to see you too again, Merrill", Anders replied and got to his feet.

"No, no, you stay right there! I'll come over and sit beside you!", she insisted and tried to walk by herself, but was immediately nudged by Fenris who then helped her on her way to Anders.

As she wobbled towards him Anders mustered her from head to toe. She was wearing a white, dress like gown and a dark green pouch around her right shoulder. She had obviously been resting when they had arrived and was still very week on her feet. As Fenris gently helped her sit next to Anders he could see her face properly as well. The years had been generous to her, from the young inexperienced looking girl he had known, she had turned into a beautiful wise looking woman, even with her hyperness obviously still in her. She spread her arms shakily towards him.

"Come give the blood mage a hug!"

Anders chuckled and embraced her petit figure. Even after all he'd said to her during their travels with Hawke she treated him like a good friend.

When they broke the embrace, Anders gave her a tired smile.

"I see you've gone up in life", he gestured towards the camp," being the Keeper of such a large clan."

She giggled as Fenris lowered himself beside her on the tree stump and looked silently at Anders, his face unreadable.

"Indeed. Although our "clan" is a mix of dalish and city elves so I don't know if it counts," she indicated towards the children that were trying to get a closer look of Anders," It's hard to keep track of so many. We only started off as two then more and more decided to travel with us and now I feel almost overwhelmed with-"

She was cut off when a croaky whine sounded from the bundle around her shoulders and it started to move. She smiled softly and reached into it.

Anders raised both eyebrows in surprise when she produced a tiny baby from it and held it up in her arms trying to calm it.

"I'm sorry", she excused it as she stroked her index finger over its cheek calming it," He was only just born this morning and is a bit of a whiner."

Fenris chuckled a little at the last remark. Obviously the baby had been crying for the most of the day.

"Well this is surprising", Anders said still a little in shock," Congratulations!"

He looked again at the tiny being rolling its head slowly back and forth. It had a tuft of jet black hair on its head and had its eyes firmly shut.

"That would also explain why she's so wobbly on her feet", Anders thought to himself with a new question forming in his head.  
>Before he could ask though, the baby pulled a discomforted face and began to cry again. Merrill sighed and handed it to Fenris.<p>

"You take him. He doesn't cry as much when you hold him."  
>Anders' heart sank as he watched Fenris gently take the baby and hold it against his chest. The boy immediately stilled and relaxed as Fenris brushed the black hairs back over his head.<p>

The loving face Fenris gave the baby answered Anders' question. He had moved on. Then again why wouldn't he? He had thought Anders dead for over 5 years. But that he chose Merrill out of all people was beyond him. He noticed Merrill looking at him with a sorry and sad face and instantly recognised that she knew what was going on. He gave her a sad smile in return and started fiddling with his ring again, watching Fenris hold his son and coo over him.

"Does he have a name yet?", Anders asked looking back at Merrill.

"I wanted to call him Leto", she stated and got a glare from Fenris straight away," But Daddy disapproves."

Anders chuckled a little.

"You could have told me you'd given birth this morning, you know?", Anders gestured towards her," I may be getting old but I think walking into a tent isn't beyond me yet."

"I've been cooped up in my tent for the past two days", she giggled indicating towards Fenris and the baby," The little one had me in labour for almost 10 hours and Fenris here didn't let me get up. Now I'm so weak I can hardly walk, so it's nice to get some fresh air out here. Thank the creators you showed up to give me an excuse to do so!"

That earned her another glare but she returned a cheeky smile.

"I'm sorry to interrupt", another hooded elf came running up to them very out of breath," But our hunters have sighted slaver scouts to the south."

"Venhedis", Fenris cussed," Assemble a few more hunters and wait for me at the pens!"

The other elf nodded and rushed off into camp.

Fenris then gently handed the baby back to Merrill and got to his feet.

"Please excuse me. I shall return in a few hours", he inclined his head and left, mantle billowing behind him.

Anders looked after him for a while before turning back to Merrill who had her gaze fixated on the large fire in front of them, her face sad and full of guilt.

Anders reached out and gently patted her knee and tears started falling down her cheek.

"I'm so, so sorry, Anders", she sobbed," If I had known you were still alive I never would have…"

"So you knew back then already?", Anders raised an eyebrow and rested his elbows on his knees.

"Yes, I always knew", she snivelled, gathering herself again," I saw the way you two looked at each other when you thought nobody was looking. I saw you go up to his mansion in high town at night multiple times… I'm just … so very sorry…."

She looked up at him with the same sad look she had had in her eyes when Marethari had died, pained with guilt and sadness.

Anders averted his gaze towards the fire again with a deep sigh.

"It's my own fault, Merrill. Not yours", he grabbed a nearby stick and started prodding the coals with it," I should have told him what I had planned… cus looking at this", he gestured towards the camp," my plan on keeping him and the rest of you out of trouble backfired, hard."

"Not for all of us", Merrill mused and looked at Anders fondly, her eyes still red from crying," I heard Aveline returned to Ferelden and that King Alistair gave her a good position in the troops and a big house in Denerim. She's got two children of her own now with hair as firey as hers. Varric is doing well in Antiva as well according to the last letter I received and Sebastian is now the ruler of Starkhaven."

"Yet you two are now constantly on the run", Anders murmured as he sat upright again tossing the stick into the fire.

"It's not all that bad. The people are nice and it never gets boring. Sure there's the odd slaver caravan but Fenris takes care of those."

They looked at each other in awkward silence for a while before Merrill looked down at her son again absently.

"You know, he grieved for you for years. He was an absolute wreck for at least a year after you "passed away" and I still found him often sitting in a dark spot on his own for three years after. And even now he never truly got over the fact that he wasn't good enough for you to have put him before your mission. He always blamed himself."

Anders felt his heart clenching again.

"When we noticed I was with child", Merrill continued her voice growing thick with sadness again," He promised me in tears that he'd do everything absolutely everything to keep me and the child safe, alive and happy. I've only ever seen him cry that one time and it broke my heart to see a man with his strength and willpower to be doing that."

Anders could feel the tears flowing down his cheeks now too. With all his good intensions towards Fenris he had only scarred him more, made his life even more miserable than it had already been all his life.

"All I wanted to do was make his life more bearable", she was crying now as well again," But not even with all the love I give him could I mend what you had done to him. That is why I ask you for one single favour, Anders."

He looked at her leaf green eyes as the tears now flowed over her cheeks.

"Tell him you're sorry."

Anders nodded slowly in agreement and then hastily whipped his tears off his face with the back of his hand and Merrill did the same.

Anders then looked down at the baby again it was starting to squirm a new and he knew it was going to cry again.

"Eeeh", Merrill started turning multiple shades of red and her ears started to sink," I think he's hungry. Do you mind just…"

Anders nodded understandingly and turned the other way to look into the camp and let Merrill have some privacy as she stilled the baby.

The camp was busy for the time of day and many of the passing elves gave him a curious glance, when they saw Merrill with him though they nodded their greetings to him.

"They fully trust a blood mage, irony knows no limits it seems", Anders thought to himself and then pushed his eyelids together. One of the passing elves, a woman around her thirties looked oddly familiar. When she stopped and looked at him with the same expression, he knew they must have known each other from somewhere. She curiously moved closer into the light of the grand fire and seemed to recognise him giving him a big smile. She was a beautiful example of an elf with long golden blond curls and dark blue almost black eyes. She carried a staff on her back and wore long skin tight robes in multiple shades of green.

"Anders?", she questioned and he nodded.

"I'm sorry to say you seem familiar but I can't point out from where I know you", he said slightly ashamed.

"Oh I don't expect you to remember me", she giggled giving him another big smile," I was one of the apprentices at the Tower of Magi in Ferelden almost 15 years ago. I was the girl that helped you hide from the Templars when you light Knight-Commander Greagoirs' robes."

A light ignited in Anders' memories. He remembered her now, she had been a rowdy amongst the apprentices but was always good with spells. Whenever Anders did something to bemuse himself and to annoy the Templars, she would always be there to cheer him on as he got dragged to his punishment.

"Fiona, wasn't it?", he questioned and she nodded excitedly.

"I didn't know you knew our Keeper", she indicated to Merrill who had now turned to them as well," You get around a lot I see!"  
>"As a long time apostate you have to, I'd say", Anders chuckled.<p>

She giggled but then looked back into camp.  
>"I'm sorry, my old friend. I'm needed to cast warding traps around our camp. We'll catch up later!"<p>

And with that she ran off to a group of elven mages that were already waiting for her.

He turned back to Merrill who smiled back at him.

"I thought you might know her after hearing her back story, but I wasn't sure."

"I get around", Anders shrugged then gestured towards the baby," may I hold him?"

Merrill seemed a little unsure at first but then trustingly passed her baby to the mage. Anders took greatest care to not drop the tiny baby and held it in front of him. The baby way so small it fit on his both hands with ease and he held it closer to his face as it started to squirm a little. The dark green towel it was wrapped in moved with its kicks and Anders chuckled.

"A little fighter", he muttered and then stroked its cheek softly with his thumb. The baby opened its eyes for him then and he could see the same emerald green eyes its father possessed looking up at him. He could feel his eyes burning again when he realised he was holding a part of the man he once loved so much in his hands and then gently kissed the baby's forehead making it grab up. It softly tapped his stubbly chin and let out a little whine. He smiled at the boy fondly as it continued to slap its hands all over his face and he could hear Merrill giggle from his left. He then blew softly onto the baby making it whine again and slap him some more. He stopped when he noticed Merrill had stopped giggling and without moving his head looked up to find Fenris standing in front of him, covered in blood and sweat and his chest heaving. His gaze was stern and calculating as if he was trying to establish if Anders was a threat to his son or not and then their eyes locked. As they stared at each other in awkward silence the baby continued to slap Anders' face until it got a grip on the tip of his nose.

Fenris was the first to give up the staring contest and look back down at his son before throwing his mantle on the floor and walking past them.

"I shall be washing off all this blood if anybody should need me."

Anders sighed again and looked at Merrill who seemed even more awkward than him.

"Maybe I should get back to my tent and get some rest", she suggested and tried to get to her feet by herself.

Anders was quick to get to her before she fell and helped her back to her tent, holding her waist with one hand and holding her son to his chest with the other. When he pushed the flap aside he could see the insides of the tent for the first time. It was richly decorated with old dalish artefacts and paintings. Obviously Merrill had the say over the decoration of the tent rather than Fenris. Anders spotted a weapon stand with a blade of mercy on it in one of the corners and a mannequin like stand with Fenris' old armour assembled on it.

He helped Merrill to the bed that consisted of straw covered with furs on the ground and gently handed her, her baby. She placed him beside her on the bed and held him close looking back up at Anders tiredly.

"Thank you, Lethallin", she muttered and pulled the cover over herself.

Anders nodded and left the tent heading off in the direction Fenris had just a few minutes ago. As he walked between the thick trees, all sorts of things rushed through the mages' head. What would he say to Fenris once he found him, would the elf even want to talk about anything and what was going to happen with them in the future? As he walked it almost seemed like the woods passed him in a slow motion blur when he finally spotted Fenris in a stream up to his navel in water and with his head under a little water fall. The elf just stood there, his back towards Anders and the water flowing over his naked torso. Anders knew what he was trying to do, he had done it many times after what he had done in Kirkwall. He was trying to wash all thoughts and all guilt from himself but it never really worked. It only helped for a short while until ones thoughts caught up with oneself again.

Anders took another step closer and Fenris' ears twitched before he turned his head slowly towards him. The elf's eyes were blank and emotionless at first as they stared at Anders, but then slowly turned into a mixture of confusion and anger. Anders froze in his tracks and just stared back with his tired honey brown eyes.

"May I talk with you?"

Fenris turned his face back to the rocky wall in front of him and put his lower arms up against the wall.

"Do whatever you wish."

Anders walked up to the side of the stream and sat down next to it watching Fenris ignoring him and looking blankly at the rock wall in front of him, his white hair sticking to the sides of his face.

"I'm sorry I came to ruin your first day as a father", Anders started but immediately stopped when he saw Fenris snarl.

"Why?", Fenris asked," Why did you leave me like that? Was I that insufferable, uninteresting, bad a lover? Why? Why couldn't you just tell me we were through?"

Anders averted his gaze when the elf turned to look at him his face showing almost as much rage as it had when Danarius had come for him.

"I lived 5 years in belief I was the one that killed you. That you hadn't loved me enough, to reconsider your mission. That you didn't trust me enough to tell me what you had planned. In those 5 years only one person ever cared for me! And she's in that tent with my son right now! I thought I might be able to start anew with a family of my own and finally be able to move on in life. And NOW", he started yelling and Anders flinched," NOW YOU DECIDE TO SHOW UP?"

The elf got out of the water and grabbed Anders by the scruff pushing him up against the rock wall, his marking flaring and winding Anders. The elf was as strong as Anders remembered him and his furious eyes pierced him as Anders looked back sadly.

"AND WHY?", Fenris continued to yell and shook Anders," WHY DO I STILL FEEL FOR YOU?"

Anders gently reached up and tried to cup the elfs' face. Fenris moved his head away at first but quickly gave in, letting Anders caress his face. His skin was still as soft as Anders remembered it an as he strocked his thumb across the elf's cheek, Fenris let him go. Fenris turned on his heels and walked over to where he had left his clothing, he picked up a pair of brown trousers and hastily put them back on. Anders watched him intently. Fenris had grown even fitter, no doubt due to the constant fighting and fleeing but with better nourishment than when he had fled from Danarius. When Fenris had put on a white long sleeved shirt with wide sleeves Anders walked over to a tree stump and slouched on it.

"I know it's insufficient and way to late", Anders began as Fenris straightened himself in front of him," But I am sorry."

Fenris chewed on his lower lip his face still greatly enraged.

"I figured if I let you free you'd be in way less trouble than if we stayed together after what I did to the Chantry. You'd have a clean vest and could move on with life and I'd be the only one suffering. But that greatly backfired I now see."

He looked up at Fenris who still stared back down at him angrily.

"And it never… not once… occurred to you that I might have not cared and only wanted to be with you?"

Anders lowered his gaze again, looking at Fenris' lyrium scarred feet.

"It doesn't matter anymore. It's to late. Now you have a family to care for. All I ask for is your forgiveness."

When all stayed still, Anders looked back up again. Fenris was giving him that calculating look again. After what seemed an eternity he seemed to have made up his mind and held out a hand.

"I can never truly forgive you for what you have done", he stated and Anders felt his heart crumble inside his chest," but, if you wish to redeem yourself I suggest you stay with our camp and help us get by. And once my son is old enough you teach him how to control his magic."

Anders shot him an amazed look.

"You already know he'll be a mage?"

"Calculating how the magic runs in my blood and Merrills", Fenris said bitterly," I'd say it's pretty clear he'll be one sooner or later. And I personally do not wish for him to come after his mother in terms of that."

Anders licked his lips thinking about the offer as he looked at Fenris' offered hand. After he had ridden Thedas of the last Circle what would he do then? He could hardly idle around the countryside, plus he was getting old and would need help sooner or later as much as he hated the thought. Also he'd have a purpose. Thinning his lips he took Fenris' hand and the elf pulled him to his feet.

"Before I settle in with your merry clan though", Anders said and earned a mistrusting look," I need to do one more thing."

"And that would be?"

They started heading back towards the camp.

"There is one more circle of magi left in Thedas that I must free. It is situated in Val Royeaux."

"A week's journey from here", Fenris muttered.

"When I have finished my mission I shall gladly return and help your clan. You have my word."

Fenris grunted and nodded grinding his teeth back and forth as he brooded.

"I have the means to get you there within a day or two instead of a week, but you'd have to get back on your own behalf", he offered as they passed the first tents of the camp again.

"How in the name of the Maker, do you want to cover that much land within 1 to 2 days?", Anders questioned sceptically.

"You will see tomorrow", Fenris replied simply," I'm sorry to inform you that we don't have any spare tents we could put up for you at the current time so all I can offer you is a straw and fur bed beside the grand fire."

"I'm not picky, Fenris", Anders chuckled as they got back to the tent," I've slept in far worse conditions."

Fenris nodded with a grunt and disappeared into his tent, returning shortly after with a bag and a few furs over his shoulders. The two men then made Anders a make shift bed from the items and Anders patted the result testing how soft it was, nodding satisfied.

Fenris then inclined his head and quietly disappeared into the tent to leave Anders to rest.

As the mage lay there and stared up into the star littered sky, he didn't know if he felt sad or happy about what had happened throughout the entire evening.

"You need to rest, Anders", Justice advised as Anders rolled to his side facing away from the fire.

"I know", Anders answered simply.

He soon felt the physical fatigue catch up with him and his eyes slowly shut as he fell into distorted dreams

**Ok that's how far I've gotten with this fanfiction.**

**I do not know how fast the next update will be out... that's if anybody's interested in reading any more **


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